Dear Peanut,
Before we gave birth to you, one of the topmost important things on our list was to have a meeting de avance with your grandparents.
We know, for a fact, that they would help your shit-scared, first-time parents. But we also know that they have a tendency to go beyond boundaries and could insist that we do some of their tried-and-tested motherly ways. Your LoloDaddy rarely tells me what to do but would tell stories of how they did it back in the day.
After all, parents, especially mothers know best. But your mother (right now) is a shit-scared, paranoid, ticking time bomb that stares at you while you sleep because she needs to know that you’re breathing well.
Sometimes, I wonder when the “knows best” phase will start, because today, at 5 months post-partum, I have so much to learn. But I also know now why they say mothers know best. Because we have to learn everything and we have to learn them fast.
But no matter how many books you read, how many prenatal and baby care 101 classes you attend, and how many podcasts you listen to about this motherhood thing, it still feels like I was thrown into the ring without much preparation. I mean, I read the books, attended the seminars, watched the videos but when your umbilical stump was prematurely removed, I freaked out.
When you had that physiological jaundice, I freaked out. (Note: I freaked out everyone, including the doctors and nurses at TMC).
When you had milia on your ears, neck, chest, and back, I freaked out.
When you had rashes and atopic eczema, I freaked out.
When you didn’t poop for 2 whole days, I freaked out.
When you wouldn’t latch and I can’t produce enough milk, I broke down.
And you know what, all these are normal, goddamnit. You get the picture, I freak out a lot and I wonder how you’ll react someday. Probably like father. Pag-untugin ko kayo eh.
Every time something freaks me out, I Google. I Google the shit out of things that Dra.JMD scolded me for all the unnecessary stress I give myself. What a time to be alive, right? Everything’s on the internet. But the best thing is to always consult your doctors for professional advice, so we don’t do anything or give you anything without the doctor’s go signal.
Anyway, what I’m trying to tell you is that I read a lot, that’s what writers do. And I read that aside from preparing myself and your dad for your arrival, we should prepare the household for some ground rules too.
Before we gave birth, we humbly told our parents that our rules apply. They’re welcome to suggest but it’s still our decision in the end for important stuff like circumcision, bathing rituals, feeding, etc. That’s why whenever they tell us to let you sleep with us on the big bed, we politely decline because doctors would tell you it’s more dangerous.
Sleep Training
During your first few weeks at home, we let you sleep with us in your portabed, which has padded barriers. We also swaddled you a lot, to which, sometimes, your grandparents (except for your LoloDaddy) would say kawawa ka naman kasi naiipit ka.
But that’s what babies look for, the feeling of being back inside the womb, cocooned. We explained but of course, during their time, it’s not the way they do things. I guess they swaddle babies too back then but it’s not yet as scientific and modernized (with all the tricks on how to swaddle well) as today.
Sometimes, your grandparents would also freak out because we put you in your crib wide awake. One time, you were fake-crying and your LolaMommy said, “Umiiyak, hindi mo ba kukunin?” To which I replied, “No, fake cry yan. Don’t look at him. Don't make eye contact.”
Na-iskandalo ko yata lola mo but she knows our rules apply. It’s part of our sleep training. The reason we don’t make eye contact is that you should know that when we put you on your back in your crib, it’s time to sleep. Natatawa kami minsan because we think your grandparents think that we are ignoring you, hahaha.
We started sleep training you starting Month 2 and here’s who we did it:
- At 10:00 PM (after watching The Good Son on ABS-CBN, which you seem to like), we would give you a warm sponge bath.
- Then we would give you a baby massage. Tummy time follows right after and some Mommy-Daddy-Baby snuggle, harutan time. This is our way na pagurin ka so you will feel sleepy already.
- After kulitan, we would give you a bottle (30ml more than your usual order) and will feed you with the lights dimmed and the air conditioner turned on.
- While waiting for you to burp, your daddy would make you listen to lullaby versions of famous rock and roll songs from the 80s and 90s.
- Then we would put you on your back in your crib while you’re still drowsy.
At first, there were a lot of trial and errors. We’ve developed several dance moves and swing tricks, like the Pendulum, wherein your father would rock you to sleep like a clock’s pendulum, to help you sleep.
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| We call this "The Unicorn" and we only do this at night. This helps you not to kick up a fuss during nighttime feedings. It works! |
But since month 4, we can already put you in your crib wide awake after burping, then you would play a bit with Pensar or sniff-eat your blanky with a few drops of Laway Eau de Lungad) and after a 10 minutes, we would find you sleeping peacefully, even if the TV’s still on.
This allows us to have the big bed all to ourselves. Sometimes, while you’re busy piñata-banging Pensar, I would play games on my smartphone from afar. And any mother would tell you that while it’s wonderful to carry your child close to your chest, it’s not fun to do it 24/7. Mommies need their rest too.
There are many things we’re glad we tried that worked, like not buying expensive baby clothes (that’s for another entry). But the best of all would be sleep training! It allows us to get some sleep too. Sleep deprivation sucks, but thanks to the success of the mild cries sleep training, we’re not zombies anymore. This also allows you to enjoy our company more. <3
xoxo,
