Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut

It is I, your creator and eminence. You can address me as Supreme Commander (SC).  I hope you are doing well.

It has roughly been 3 months since we have found out that you are already forming in your mother's womb.

March 3, 2017.  I would never forget that day. I had an interview in the morning, stuff happened at work, and in the evening, your mother decided to take a pregnancy exam and found it positive.

I really didn't know what to feel at that moment, though I remember that your mother is already freaking out, haha.

Yeah, so we went to the doctor to confirm and she did confirm your mother is indeed pregnant. We had an ultrasound but all we saw was a grape-like thing at that time, though the doctor said it was you.

It seems this is really happening. We are going to have a child.

Regards,

Dear Peanut,

So today was your first plane ride...while still inside my tummy. It was the first time I rode an airplane while pregnant. We were so cautious that we asked Dr.AZ if the X-ray machines are safe. She also assured us that most airlines have a 7-month pregnant policy but still, we asked for a doctor's approval letter, hehe.

We flew to Phuket, Thailand for a 7-day holiday. We decided to settle for Phuket instead of Bangkok. I guess we're tired of highly urbanized cities. I remember when we flew to Tokyo last year for a week-long vacation, even if we really enjoyed Tokyo, it was so tiring! And besides, we wanted to just lounge around at the beach.

Photo taken at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA 1) before we boarded our plane.

First time we flew via Malindo Air.

We were very satisfied with the Malindo Air experience and customer service.

Our first time in Phuket, Thailand!

The flight was supposed to be an hour-long but we arrived ahead of schedule. After a quick lunch at the airport food court (so expensive, lah, gaddemit, p*tang*na!) we took a shuttle that will take us to our hotel along Nanai Road in Patong Beach, Phuket.

P.S. Earthquake!! I just rubbed my tummy and disrupted your home, did you feel it? :)

Love,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

People (at least the ones who know about our pregnancy, more about it later) always ask me if I have some specific food cravings. In other words, saan daw ako naglilihi. It's a typical question people always ask pregnant couples.

Just to give you an idea, pinaglihi ako sa puto. That fluffy, white, steamed rice cake with a slice of cheese on top. Your Lola Mommy (LMO) ate it a lot when she was pregnant with me.

Ang puti puti ko dapat diba? Kaso nahulog daw sa dinuguan! So that explains my kayumanggi (morena) skin when I was a baby. By the way, dinuguan is a pork stew simmered in pig's blood. Sounds disgusting? When you read the description, yeah, but it's quite heavenly when you taste it and when it's cooked right.

Your LMO and Lolo Daddy (LD) also told me pinaglihi daw ako sa duhat, a tropical fruit in the Philippines distinguished by its black skin and dark purple flesh. I think I tried it once or twice but if you Google it, it looks like a big grape.

Anyway, I've been on the lookout for favorite things to eat when we found out that you're on the way. I couldn't think of any, really, except for that Lucban longganisa that I have yet to eat because I can't find some in Malaysia. Apart from sausages, I can't think of any other crazy food obsession I have right now.

I eat salted egg squid every Friday after swimming. But that's normal. I mean, I eat it all the time. But maybe hindi sa pagkain kita pinaglilihi. The only thing I'm obsessed right now is swimming.

We try to swim once a week and I always look forward to it. I drag SC out of bed every Friday morning just so we can swim.

At first, I was scared to go to the deepest end of the pool but now I can do laps without long breaks! Because I'm pregnant, I try to be extra careful so I don't do laps in the beginning. But now, it's more like a routine.

However, we noticed that since I started doing laps, I always feel more exhausted when we get home. So I take an hour-long nap before I work again. There's also increased heart rate when we get home, maybe it's because of the cardio part of the swimming. But after the nap, it goes back to normal.

I guess pinaglilihi kita sa swimming. Like sperm swimming towards the egg, hahaha. And also sausages, Lucban longganisa, and your daddy's face.

Perhaps it's all the pregnancy hormones but I feel like I am more in love with your daddy now than ever before. Actually, even before we made you (hahaha), I noticed that I've never been more in love with him than I am now. That's why I always look at his face before we sleep. Para mamana mo yung Aladdin good looks ng tatay mo!

Love, your very in-love mother,







Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

When we first found out that you're a boy, SC said it has something to do with the mother's testosterone levels prior to the pregnancy. I'm not sure how much of it is true or where he read that but come to think of it, all that workout before we conceived probably had something to do with you becoming a boy.

And probably because of SC's trolling.

Or maybe because I was craving for Lucban longganisa all the time. But since we can't find it here, we had to settle for sausages. One time, I didn't want to cook so I went down to the pub below our condo and ordered 6 pieces of sausages all for me. That's how far the obsession with longganisa went.

At #15Weeks, I still have not eaten any good longganisa here. Your Lola Mama (LMA) was supposed to send some from Manila but her friend wasn't able to bring it, sheesh. And just last night, your Lolo Daddy and Lola Mommy ordered some from Buddy's, one of my favorite places to eat Lucban longganisa. They sent this last night:

I mean, grabe lang mang-inggit diba? Hahaha.

And that's probably why you became a boy. :) Oh and we already have your name and a theme for your baby shower! I'll tell you about it in another post.

Love,





Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

As I previously mentioned, coffee was the first to go when we first found out about you.

I remember there was one time I couldn't help it I sipped exactly 14 teaspoons of black coffee from SC's cup before he turned it into Kopi-O, which is a Malaysian brewed coffee with condensed milk. I was so scared that I measured it very carefully. It felt and tasted sooo great I probably had a coffee orgasm in the kitchen, hahahaha.

But later on, I read that drinking coffee is not that bad for pregnant women (unlike wine and smoking and drugs). It's actually okay to drink a little. Even some friends told us the same. So now, I get to drink small servings of Kopi-O every now and then. Just a little, so I can focus on work.

But there were other things--some used to be my favorite---that pregnancy kicked out of my system but hopefully not for good.

I used to love mushrooms. Sauteed mushrooms with soy sauce. I always cook it as a side dish. I also used to cook creamy mushroom pasta. But now, every time I smell or see mushrooms, I feel like vomiting. I cringe, literally.

I experience the same thing with onions. Sauteed red onions to be exact. I used to love mushroom + onions but now, I hate the combo so much we switched to white onions altogether.

During the first trimester, I couldn't cook. Not that I can't get out of bed and cook, I just don't want to. Before you, I would always search Tastemade and Buzzfeed for quick recipes for the whole week. SC likes variety in home cooked meals, so I make sure I have at least 2 to 3 ulam I cook from scratch every week.

But during the first trimester, I felt exhausted and tamad all the time. I put SC in charge of the kitchen, so that means we get to order takeout food most of the time, haha.

Now that we're in our second trimester, I feel the energy and the excitement for cooking come back. There was one week I cooked 4 ulam that we had so many leftovers we just kept heating them. Oh, and for the first time, I was able to cook pochero from scratch but without the saging na saba because they don't have it in Malaysia.

Let's see what else I can whip up in the kitchen this trimester. :)

Love,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

I also notice that despite not being able to exercise as intense as before (with all the kickboxing and weight lifting), I'm not really that big yet.

I mean, I imagine I would balloon like crazy by the time we're 4 months pregnant. But no, I still look like I just have a food baby instead of a real baby inside my tummy.

In fact, Dr. AZ said I actually lost a bit of weight during the 2nd prenatal checkup. Not really sure how that happened but it was probably because of the exhaustion.

When we first found out about you, the first thing we got rid of was coffee. Before, I drink 3 to 4 cups of brewed coffee a day. Some friends already told us before that coffee's not good for pregnancy, same with wine, beer, and anything alcoholic. So we got rid of that first.

Naturally, I felt very sleepy that I take naps every afternoon. I even sleep early, probably because of the lack of caffeine and I feel very tired all the time. Eventually, I read that during the first trimester pregnant women feel tired all the time because apart from the developing the fetus, they're also making the placenta.

But apart from the exhaustion and lower back pains, I don't feel any of the other *normal* pregnancy symptoms like vomiting, nausea, and morning sickness. You know, those things that you see in movies and TV shows all the time.

I felt some cramps, but slightly less painful that the normal premenstrual cramps I go through. Dr.AZ said this is normal during the first trimester. I keep listening to my body why I don't have the normal pregnancy symptoms, I guess I won the lottery.

When your AuntieAD was pregnant with your cousin Vianne, she said she looked like Bella in the Twilight movies when the character was pregnant. She felt sick all the time. She didn't like sunlight and she had a hard time eating so she actually lost so much weight. Her skin turned a bit gray.

I've heard some friends go through many unpleasant pregnancy symptoms so when we found about you, we're always on the lookout for vomiting and morning sickness episodes, but nah.

We're already at #15weeks now and nothing. I hope we feel this way all the way to your full term. :)

Love,





Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

Early in May 2017, SC and I bought 6 months' worth of post-natal lotions and creams for me. We came across this warehouse sale of a big healthcare store here in Malaysia. They do one at least twice a year.

When we saw how cheap they were selling the Palmer's Post Natal Firming Lotion at the event, we immediately grabbed what we can! We could have bought more but we had to take into consideration the expiration dates. If these items are not on sale, they go up as high as MYR30 each. We bought a 2-bottle pack for only MYR10. I mean, wow! I wanted to buy out all the stocks and sell them in Manila at MYR30 each, hahaha.

Since we found out that you're on the way, I've been very diligent with skincare, especially in moisturizing. I read that there's really no sure way to prevent stretch marks but some friends recommended applying pure coconut oil every night. I searched about it online and many say it helps, maybe not to totally prevent stretch marks but at least minimize how they look and help recover faster.

SC and I found a brand that works well for me.


For its size, it's not that expensive. I use this every night. Sometimes, when I'm lazy, I just double up my usual moisturizer, Nivea Intensive Moisture body milk. Also because the smell of the coconut oil is quite powerful.

But I'm glad it doesn't make me feel like vomiting (like how mushrooms and onion are now, more on that later), but I do smell like biko na may latik every time I use it. SC doesn't hate it, but it's not his favorite smell on me either.

Again, this blog is not meant to review any products. Nope, but I still want to share with you some of the things I add to my routine to prepare for you and take care of me. :)

Love,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Crayon Shin-chan is a popular anime show shown on TV when we were younger. You and SC should do this when you're a older, yeah?

That's not your face. the perfect circle on the left side of what looks like your face is actually your stomach. I actually can't imagine it but since you're only as big as an apple now, it makes sense.

This scan shows the size of your head.

Don't panic, you don't look like this.

Tokyo Trip, May 2017 I've been called many names. Mean Girl, Queen B (after the spoiled girl in Gossip Girl, Blair Waldorf), Bitch, Badass, Mrs.D., and perhaps more that I don't know about. But I've never been called "Mommy" before. That's why it took me a long time to find an appropriate name for this blog. If I wasn't me, I would have probably named it "Mommy Kath's Blog" and be done with it. But no...the first time I tried it, I cringed a bit. Peanut, this doesn't mean I don't want you to call me Mommy or Mama. Of course, if you don't call me that I will cry. But...to label myself as Mommy Kath for all eternity isn't something I am comfortable with. I mean, just because you're already a mother doesn't make you stop being a wife (Mrs.D) or a daughter (Ate) or a friend (QB), and more. Being a mother just becomes the biggest slice of your whole pie. Am I making sense? By the time you read this, you tell me and I'll judge if you have the same wit as your parents, lol. I actually thought of naming this blog as "Kath's Kitten" because well, I'm Kath (cat) and you're our kid (kitten), get it? But that requires a lot of explaining and I'll probably get tired of it. So I named it simply "Kath's Pregnancy Journey" at first until I came up with a better name. Actually, just now SC and I thought of renaming it as "Dear Peanut" because it's shaping up to be a life-long letter to you. So yeah, Dear Peanut it is. <3 Love, Update (as of April 30, 2017): Renamed this blog as "Dear Peanut." Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

On April 20, 2017, we had our third prenatal checkup at Columbia Hospital PJ with Dr.AZ. And today, we heard---for the very first time---your heartbeat!

I read once that a baby's heartbeat sounds like galloping horses. But SC said it sounded more like a hovering helicopter. So we called it your Helicopter Heartbeat.

The whole experience felt sooooooooo amazing, that I even cried a bit because I felt so happy. Even SC felt the paternal strings tug a bit when he first heard your heart beating.

We also saw it on the screen (blue lights flickering fast). We tried to record it on SC's phone but when we played it back, it's too faint to hear. But when it was happening in real time, your Helicopter Heartbeat was so loud it filled the entire room.

We also saw your baby shape for the first time today. At #11Weeks, you were past your Alien Phase (you know, you looked like an alien during the first trimester---at least that's how it's shown in many online references). And based on the ultrasound, you're already filling up the small black hole that's your home inside my body.

During our third prenatal checkup, SC and I decided to take the First Trimester Screening test. I've read a great deal about this and even asked a fellow Filipina expat mom we met in Kuala Lumpur.

It's combined ultrasound and blood test. The goal is to see if you have high or low risk of developing chromosomal abnormalities, including Down Syndrome. It's a screening test, not diagnostic, which means it only shows us a range.

If the results show you're at high risk, we can decide to get the diagnostic test but this later test is invasive, which means they'll get a blood sample from you and it comes with a slight risk of miscarriage. And I don't want that.

Dr.AZ explained to me that the screening test is non-invasive and they'll just get my blood for testing. During the first phase of the screening test, Dr.AZ took a longer time with the ultrasound. She made a lot of measurements and at one point, you even turned around. "Baby is turning," she said. You probably got annoyed with all the extra poking in your home.

But we saw you move! It was so amazing!

Your third selfie photo at #11Weeks. You are so much visible now! :)

After the checkup, we were told to go the laboratory for my blood test. The doctor also gave me new medicine to take, a calcium supplement and some multivitamins. By this time, we already finished your folic acid supplements.

Dr.AZ gave me calcium supplements too because I told her I don't like the taste of maternity milk. Well, even before I really don't like powdered milk. Maternity milk just tastes so sweet and even if I dilute it, it makes me wince. Not that I would puke it all out but the smell is enough to make me forget that I actually need it.

This is why I drink it every other day, once a day. When Dr.AZ told me I was supposed to drink 2 to 3 glasses every day, I immediately felt guilty. I got extremely worried that I wasn't doing you good so I immediately asked for calcium supplements. Your AuntieAD also took calcium supplements because she hates milk and she told me it's okay.

Honestly, I wanted to use the maternity milk to make polvoron but SC stopped me.

So that's what happened during your 3rd prenatal checkup. This is when we realized that you look like peanut. So we started calling you Peanut instead of baby, hehe.

We showed LMO and LD your third selfie photo and LMO couldn't see the "peanut" shape in the ultrasound photo. She told us you look like an owl. Where the fuck did that come from? hahaha. So, we sent her this:


See? There you are, anak. :)

Love,











Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

Today was the first day that we took you swimming. :)

Well, you're actually already swimming inside my tummy but today, SC and I went back to PJ Palms Sports Centre for an early morning swim.

As you know, I have to give up kickboxing and weightlifting at the gym for a while. At this point, I'm supposed to be in my 2nd year of gym membership and I had initially planned on getting regular kickboxing sessions again. I planned on going beast mode again.

But my Malay coach told me (as well as Dr.AZ) that I can't do contact sports while pregnant. As for weightlifting, I can use light weights, but where's the challenge in that? I'm used to lifting 15 to 20-pound barbells. I feel like I won't be able to maximize the expensive gym membership if I use light, sissy weights like 5 pounds.

So we've decided to freeze the gym membership for now and try less strenuous workouts like swimming. I've yet to try prenatal yoga at this point but we already inquired at The Yoga House, a small yoga place near our home in Malaysia.

I used to not like swimming. I didn't really hate it, but it's not one of my favorite things to do. I mean, if I'm going to work out, I want to sweat. So I took up kickboxing years ago. But since I'm having lower and upper back pains, I might as well give swimming a chance. And you know what? I ended up loving it!

This is PJ Palms Sports Centre. The entrance fee is RM10 (PHP114.50) each.

Perhaps it's the preggy hormones or the fact that we time our swimming activity mid-morning, usually on a Friday. But I really, really love swimming now. We've been to PJ Palms Sports Centre before, on a Saturday, but I didn't join SC in the pool because there were so many people then. I ended up eating fries and waffles at the in-house A&W restaurant for 1 hour.

But since that Friday swim, we've been going to the sports center every Friday morning now to workout for at least 1.5 hours. I really, really love swimming now that I drag SC every Friday morning to go to the sports center. I have poor eyesight and it's hard for me to see underwater, but we found a pair of goggles with a grade. That's one of the reasons why I love swimming now.

Early morning swim at PJ Palms Sports Centre. First time for you and me at #11Weeks.

I just look bloated, right? #11Weeks

And maybe it's due to the lack of pussy posers swimmers (I have a very bad mouth sometimes, but hey, you should be used to it by the time you read this) that make me want to go there every day. Sometimes, the pool would be a bit crowded, like 10 swimmers, but they're swimmers. They're not the kind who go to the pool to take Instagram photos.

When we were in the Mandaluyong condo, I used to detest going to the pools after 9:00 AM because the pools would be filled with pussy posers. At PJ Palms Sports Centre, I am determined to do laps because everyone else is doing it. If I don't, I'd end up being the pussy swimmer.

And keme if you wear Speedos. Every now and then, we see some locals wearing nothing but a pair of bikini-style Speedos. I can be so judgmental sometimes but I figured, they can wear that because they swim.

Unfortunately, I have seen many pussy posers who have no business wearing Speedos. And thank God, nobody wears t-shirts in the pool! If you do, the local lifeguard will kick you out. SC and I wear proper swimwear.

No pussy poser swimmers here. That's the goofy female swimming instructor teaching a local how to swim properly. They also have scuba diving lessons here. Too bad I can't do that while I'm pregnant with you.

And I just want to document it here, SC looks really good even underwater with goggles on. The other side of the pool is very deep because they use it for scuba diving classes. But we always do laps from the shallow end to the deep end and back.

I always stay at the shallow end but sometimes I meet SC halfway and we stay underwater and just make funny faces, hahaha. Sometimes, we do the merman/mermaid swim and pretend we're in an old-school bomba film, hahaha.

Under the water, it's always weirder. I hope by the time you read this, we already explained to you what bomba films are.

SC is so handsome right? Like Disney's Alladin!

Your daddy is just so manly. I still get kilig and goosebumps every now and then. At this point, we still don't know if you're a boy or a girl. If you're a baby boy, I hope you really get his facial features---eyes, eyebrows, nose, lips, even the hair, haha. And if you're a baby girl, I hope you get some of his good genes too. From me, I hope you develop my mad kilay skills because #kilayislife. And maybe the boobs, hahaha, and of course, my love for words, wit, and creativity.

Anyway, I always feel amazing right after. I feel lighter and less cranky. I always enjoy the early lunch we have at Makan Channel, where they serve the best salted egg squid with rice!

Can't wait for our Friday Swim Habit. <3

Love,