Dear Peanut,

After several sleepless nights (sleepless not because of pregnancy symptoms---I didn't have the usual morning sickness, I kept waiting but nada; sleepless because of anxiety, really), we did what every responsible, expecting couple would do: go on a first prenatal checkup. Yes, we took CTRL (control)!

As I write this (at 13 weeks!), we currently live in a nice suburb in Malaysia called Petaling Jaya. It's about 25 minutes away by car from Kuala Lumpur, the famous capital with the beautiful Petronas Towers. We live in a two-bedroom, two-bath condominium called PJ Centerstage.

It's beautiful here and it has been our home for nearly two years. It's spacious too, compared to the 24-sqm one-bedroom (but really more like a studio) condo unit SC and I rented in Mandaluyong, Metro Manila, Philippines.

Your grandparents, Lolo Daddy (LD) and Lola Mommy (LMO) and your aunties A and D and Uncle P visited us here already in Malaysia. Your Lola Mama (LMA) has yet to visit because she still has not renewed her passport.

Several of your other aunties, uncles, and future godparents also visited us in Malaysia in the past 2 years and some stayed in the second bedroom. This is why I've been very diligent in posting photos on Facebook, because someday, SC and I want to show them to you.

So, where were we? Oh yeah, so we took control. As you may already know by know, my stories tend to go one way and then another. By the time you read this blog, you're probably used to it (or annoyed). Anyway...

SC and TM at Columbia Hospital

The nearest private hospital here is Columbia Hospital PJ. We've been there once, in August 2016 when we had our annual physical checkup. They're as efficient as The Medical City (TMC) in Manila, Philippines. We had a great experience in Columbia Hospital PJ so we decided to check there first.

Unlike in the Philippines, where your LMO and Uncle P have a lot of strong connections in the medical field (As I write this, your Uncle P is still in his 3rd year in medical school---UP College of Medicine lang naman!), we don't know anyone here. So we searched the website and we decided to see a Malay female doctor who we'll call Dr.AZ.

The waiting area in front of Dr.AZ's office. Very clean, very bright, and very cold.

On March 3, 2017, we had our first prenatal checkup at 3:00 P.M.

It must be the pregnancy hormones but I felt like I had a huge grin on my face the whole time it was happening. When the nurse took my weight and height measurements and asked me for the first time, "Are you pregnant?" I sort of giggled, "Yes." And I don't giggle!!

When she asked me, "How far long are you?" I said, "Oh, we just found out last March 2 and I think we're two weeks pregnant." Yes, complete with the date!



The first time we met Dr.AZ, we immediately felt at ease with her. She's soft-spoken, helpful, and pretty too! The first thing she did was to confirm our pregnancy.

It was the first time I've had an ultrasound for the sole purpose of confirming a pregnancy and the entire experience was surreal. It felt like a scene in a movie wherein the expecting couple looks at the ultrasound screen and sees their baby moving, complete with a nice OST and tears of joy.

I felt exactly the same way, but we didn't see you yet. Dr.AZ showed us a small black hole in my tummy where you're supposed to be. Next to you was another small black hole.

Dr.AZ said it's a small tumor but it normally goes away as the pregnancy progresses, and it did go away eventually. That's how it was in reality, but in my head, my stomach is already as big as a watermelon and you're already kicking and doing Assassin's Creed-like parkour moves inside my tummy. Okay, I hallucinated a bit.

Dr.AZ said that we're already over a month pregnant. Hahaha, I felt stupid because I told the nurse that we were 2 weeks pregnant. And she was standing right there inside the office because she's Dr.AZ's assistant. She probably mouthed, "Hmph, amateurs," hahahaha.

I also felt guilty because just last week, SC, me, your Uncle Onin, and Uncle Rogel from Singapore partied in Bukit Bintang. I drank beer, vodka, and smoked shisha.

We called it our Latino Night because we also went samba dancing (or at least that's what it was supposed to be called) at some bar in Bukit Bintang until the Polis (Malaysian police) came and ruined the party vibe. Boo. We thought it was a random booze check but we weren't really sure because there were Polis all around the area.

That means we're already one month pregnant and I'm still samba dancing, drinking, and shisha-ing in full party mode. Cool, huh? Yes, the purpose of this blog is to prove to you that your parents are cool!

Back to the first prenatal checkup.

There were so many forms we needed to fill out! I remember asking the nurse what I should put in the "Mother's Name" part. I mean, I just wanted to make sure if it's supposed to be my Mother's Maiden Name (because you'll spend the rest of your life using your Mother's Maiden Name in many formal documents).

How was I supposed to know that I needed to put my name in there because the form is actually for you? SC laughed. I laughed. The nurse laughed. So that was the day I officially entered the Mother demographic and all these baby and mama brands in Malaysia started bombarding me with emailers.

I have officially entered the point of no return - the Mothers demographic.

But it has its perks! Dr.AZ gave us a pregnancy kit---okay, it's just a folder with some brochures and a small book about how to take care of babies but hey, free stuff! She also gave us some folic acid and some maternity milk (we started calling it Mama Milk) to take.

Your first appointment card.

So that's how your first prenatal checkup went.

A few years ago, I thought my maternal instincts wouldn't start kicking in until maybe I'm in my late 30s. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't want children. Heck, I once thought I didn't want marriage, especially the responsibilities that come with it.

It took me a really loooooong time to wrap my head around the married life part. I once thought I didn't want to be the "other half" of someone. I wanted to be my own whole self. To each his own, but I have learned that with the right person---someone who treats you as an equal---you will never feel like a "half."

And soon, you'll realize why I often call myself SC's strongest ally and secret weapon (release the KRAKEN)!

So yeah, it took me a long time to feel married. But I didn't expect that a single ultrasound would jumpstart my maternal engine into full gear. You know, like how you jump start a car when the batteries are dead. It felt that way somehow. Like the thought of having a developing human being inside my tummy revved my Mommy Engine into action.

This is your first selfie photo at 4 weeks. :)

As I write this, we're already 13 weeks pregnant. I don't feel like a mommy yet. They say a mother is born when the baby is born. We still have a long way to go. But since that day, during your first prenatal checkup, I felt that something changed. Like I said, I have officially entered the point of no return. Let's see if you drive me crazy when you finally arrive.

They say that the boobs get bigger when you get pregnant....

...SC completely agrees and approves, hahaha! Very excited mommy-to-be!

P.S. I asked SC if he felt the paternal strings tug when he saw the ultrasound. He said "not really." Argh, men! He said maybe when my tummy is big already or when I'm already in labor that he'll feel like a daddy already. I can't wait for that day.

Peanut, your father can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

xoxo,









Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).