Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut,
In an earlier post, I told you about winning the lack of usual pregnancy symptoms/effects. Well, karma is a bitch. Lumabas ngayon lahat starting at 35 weeks.

Lower Back Pain From Hell

The past week had been crazy. I’ve had shoulders and back pain before but the pregnancy-related lower back pain is the epitome of all that things shitty related to back pain.

Sometimes, I couldn’t get up from our bed without asking your father for help. He would laugh first, thinking that I look like an overturned turtle with my big pregnant belly trying to get up but fighting a losing battle. Then he’d help me.

Sometimes, in the morning, I would call him and he would help me get up from the bed by hugging me and pulling me upwards. It’s not sexy.


Phantom Pee in the Middle of the Night

Sometimes, I need to nudge your father awake in the middle of the night so I can get up and pee. You’re pushing my bladder and whenever you move, the sensation is like my bladder would burst.

But when I get to the bathroom, only a fucking trickle. I’m not mad at you. As you may know by now, your father and I like profanity. (P.S. You will only be allowed to curse like this out in the open when you turn 18).


Octoberfest Feet

My feet are like sausages now. And they hurt. In fact, whenever I take a bath, I can’t reach my lower body anymore that I’d ask your father to help me bathe. No, shower sex is officially off the menu (at least for the meantime). It’s not sexy at all.

I can’t reach my feet anymore. So your father needs to bathe my legs and feet for me. You know how, sometimes, when you cook Lucban longganisa and the thin casing would sizzle and burst open? That’s how it feels every time your father would wash my feet. They hurt, even at the slightest touch.

One time, he was squatting at our shower and when he got up, nataaman nya yung faucet. He got a huge gash from that incident and for weeks, he had to wear 3 to 4 Band-Aids (because we didn’t have a big one).

As of writing, he has a huge scar on his lower right back. Not sure if it will fade away in time, but if it’s still there years from now, this blog entry is a testament to your father’s dedication to cleaning my sausage-like feet when I was still carrying you.

Super Itchy !@#@($)@$*@($ Skin

When we were still in Malaysia, I often had a hard time sleeping mostly because of itchy skin. I remember a phase when I would steal whisky from your father’s stash and take 2 shots so I can sleep. For some time, alcohol helped me sleep. I was writing 2 books back then so I needed something to numb me down.

But when we found out about, alcohol was the first to go. The pregnancy-related exhaustion helped me sleep and for that, I was really, really thankful. I would be knocked out as early as 9pm. Miracles do happen. No itchy skin.

That continued when we went back to the Philippines. As soon as we have successfully set up our new home, I was able to enjoy deep sleep and long naps, despite suffering from lower back pain.

But these past few days, the itchy sensation return. I really don’t know where it’s coming from. The doctor said it’s pregnancy-related. And probably stress-related.

My stomach feels itchy. My boobs feel itchy. And it only happens at night when I’m trying to sleep. We’ve tried putting coconut oil, pregnancy-safe creams and lotions, and even talcum powder and sometimes, they help. Sometimes, they don’t.

One time, I was only able to sleep at 4 am and had to play games on my mobile phone to “let it pass.” Honestly, I have started to detest nighttime because I know I would have to go through it before I can get some sleep.

Sitting and walking for long periods of time hurt too. We are currently #38weeks and 3 days now and I can pop anytime. But that’s for another entry.

XOXO,


Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

Yeah, so we're down to the last stretch.  Your time to go out into the world starts next week. Next. Fucking. Week.  I’m not sure how it will go down but I’m looking forward that it goes well.

We have attended the final pregnancy seminar in our hospital today and got the last batch of free baby-related shit that we can get. It has been quite a journey and it’s kind of fun to think back to the last few months leading to this.

During the 1st trimester, there wasn’t a lot of changes in your mother’s body. Aside from the monthly check-ups, there wasn’t really any changes in our routine. This was the time that we would go swimming every week to get some exercise.

 This is also true for the 2nd trimester since her belly is just starting to swell up, as you were starting to grow and take a more human form because initially, you looked like the face hugger hatchlings from Aliens based on the ultrasound photos. The upside is your mother’s jugs increased in cup size. The downside is that her nipples are the size of China.

Now, this third trimester is a different story. So based on what the doctor told us during the seminar and the shit we have read, this is the time that most of the things are set up. You are just growing until you are right for the picking. That means you get bigger and heavier and so is your mother’s belly. Now her movement is really compromised.

She really can’t bend down so when she drops things on the floor, especially when I’m not around, it’s going to stay there for a while. Sometimes she gets creative and uses a broom to pick up small things and ends up sweeping the entire house, so now our floors are dust-free.

Getting up from lying down position is also a Herculean task for her. She is like an overturned turtle trying to get up, it’s kind of funny. You should see it yourself.  Don’t get me started about her feet. They look like they are about to be served in Octoberfest alongside with sauerkraut and beer.

Yeah, anyway, here we are just waiting for the day that your mother will go into labor. We are hoping you’d do it around Oct 30th, just in time for the long weekend. I can be off for two weeks! Woohoo!

So until then, we’ll be playing the waiting game.

Regards,

Dear Peanut,

This morning, I saw the first signs of stretchmarks on my lower belly.

I’m not overly conscious about stretchmarks because I already have some. I used to be a “big” kid. So when I lost the weight in high school, my skin showed the signs. But this morning, after a quick shower, I saw the first batch of pregnancy stretchmarks on both sides of my lower belly.

I felt three things.

First, a bit of sadness, but it was the good kind of sadness, because it means my body has officially passed the pre-pregnancy state. I mean, yeah, sure, since the point of conception and when you first started to “show,” we’ve already passed the pre-pregnancy body state but aside from my growing belly, I didn’t have those claw-like, reddish stretchmarks yet.

Second, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy because those pregnancy stretchmarks mean you’re growing nicely in there. Your kicks and punches have also started growing stronger that one time when SC placed his right cheek on my belly and you either sucker-punched or gave his face a fancy flying kick because he felt it, haha.

Third, I felt a great deal of pride because oh wow, my body is able to do all these things! It is just surreal, you know?

Some of my mommy friends tell me that those pregnancy stretchmarks will fade away after a few months, some years. But really, I’m not overly conscious or bothered about it.

I mean, it’s not like my entire career is anchored on my physical looks. I’m not a model or an actress. And even if there are some treatments you can get for those stretchmarks, I don’t think they’re super necessities at this point. I’d rather use the money to hike up some of our investments.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

I just finished breakfast and I need to work now because we have a lot of backlog for work due to the long weekend.

Oh, by the way, SC called while I was checking out my lower belly and I told him about it. I did some voodoo with the coconut oil we imported from Malaysia after the shower. I’ve read it can help to keep the skin moisturized, at least that’s what we can do to ease the itchiness a bit.

And besides, queens have battle scars. :)

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

I also notice that despite not being able to exercise as intense as before (with all the kickboxing and weight lifting), I'm not really that big yet.

I mean, I imagine I would balloon like crazy by the time we're 4 months pregnant. But no, I still look like I just have a food baby instead of a real baby inside my tummy.

In fact, Dr. AZ said I actually lost a bit of weight during the 2nd prenatal checkup. Not really sure how that happened but it was probably because of the exhaustion.

When we first found out about you, the first thing we got rid of was coffee. Before, I drink 3 to 4 cups of brewed coffee a day. Some friends already told us before that coffee's not good for pregnancy, same with wine, beer, and anything alcoholic. So we got rid of that first.

Naturally, I felt very sleepy that I take naps every afternoon. I even sleep early, probably because of the lack of caffeine and I feel very tired all the time. Eventually, I read that during the first trimester pregnant women feel tired all the time because apart from the developing the fetus, they're also making the placenta.

But apart from the exhaustion and lower back pains, I don't feel any of the other *normal* pregnancy symptoms like vomiting, nausea, and morning sickness. You know, those things that you see in movies and TV shows all the time.

I felt some cramps, but slightly less painful that the normal premenstrual cramps I go through. Dr.AZ said this is normal during the first trimester. I keep listening to my body why I don't have the normal pregnancy symptoms, I guess I won the lottery.

When your AuntieAD was pregnant with your cousin Vianne, she said she looked like Bella in the Twilight movies when the character was pregnant. She felt sick all the time. She didn't like sunlight and she had a hard time eating so she actually lost so much weight. Her skin turned a bit gray.

I've heard some friends go through many unpleasant pregnancy symptoms so when we found about you, we're always on the lookout for vomiting and morning sickness episodes, but nah.

We're already at #15weeks now and nothing. I hope we feel this way all the way to your full term. :)

Love,





Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).