Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut,

As you turned, officially, 6-week-old today, I want to share with you a photo of the medical team who did our stat CS operation last November 2, 2017.

When we were pregnant, we received A LOT of advice—both solicited and unsolicited. We listened to most of them but there were also some we dismissed almost immediately.

Back in Malaysia, I remember how I Google-d the shit out of everything the moment we found out about you. We didn’t know a thing. So we wanted to be prepared for our first prenatal checkup.

I remember how I would have a long list of questions for our first OB-GYN, Dra.AZ, and how she would often find my “praning” questions funny. She was very patient with me and we liked her. But I also felt that since she’s Malaysian and we’re Filipinos, there was this sense of “disconnection” because she couldn’t relate to the things we were concerned about—like if I could color my hair during my pregnancy.

So that led me to Google a lot, instead, and ask my “mommy friends.”

When we went back to Manila and met our Filipino OB-GYN for the first time, I was also prepared with a list of questions. Dra.JMF answered them all but I sensed that she saw through my “ka-praningan” and found my real problem. I research a lot that I often end up scaring myself to the point of stressing myself out. And you know what, she gave me one of the best advice we were given: Stop reading mommy blog and forums. If you have questions, ask your doctor.

As a writer, researching is part of what I do, and probably who I am. When Dra.JMF pointed out my problem, I realized that I was depriving myself of the joys of pregnancy because of my fears. Mommy blogs, forums, and many related websites tend to contradict one another that you can get stuck in the middle—paralyzed and more confused than ever. What you need to do is to find good doctors and trust them.

I’d like to dedicate this blog post to the amazing doctors who took care of us when we gave birth to you. It was such an amazing experience! :) And we will forever be grateful for the generosity they extended to us.

XOXO,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

This morning, I saw the first signs of stretchmarks on my lower belly.

I’m not overly conscious about stretchmarks because I already have some. I used to be a “big” kid. So when I lost the weight in high school, my skin showed the signs. But this morning, after a quick shower, I saw the first batch of pregnancy stretchmarks on both sides of my lower belly.

I felt three things.

First, a bit of sadness, but it was the good kind of sadness, because it means my body has officially passed the pre-pregnancy state. I mean, yeah, sure, since the point of conception and when you first started to “show,” we’ve already passed the pre-pregnancy body state but aside from my growing belly, I didn’t have those claw-like, reddish stretchmarks yet.

Second, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy because those pregnancy stretchmarks mean you’re growing nicely in there. Your kicks and punches have also started growing stronger that one time when SC placed his right cheek on my belly and you either sucker-punched or gave his face a fancy flying kick because he felt it, haha.

Third, I felt a great deal of pride because oh wow, my body is able to do all these things! It is just surreal, you know?

Some of my mommy friends tell me that those pregnancy stretchmarks will fade away after a few months, some years. But really, I’m not overly conscious or bothered about it.

I mean, it’s not like my entire career is anchored on my physical looks. I’m not a model or an actress. And even if there are some treatments you can get for those stretchmarks, I don’t think they’re super necessities at this point. I’d rather use the money to hike up some of our investments.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

I just finished breakfast and I need to work now because we have a lot of backlog for work due to the long weekend.

Oh, by the way, SC called while I was checking out my lower belly and I told him about it. I did some voodoo with the coconut oil we imported from Malaysia after the shower. I’ve read it can help to keep the skin moisturized, at least that’s what we can do to ease the itchiness a bit.

And besides, queens have battle scars. :)

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

As I previously mentioned, coffee was the first to go when we first found out about you.

I remember there was one time I couldn't help it I sipped exactly 14 teaspoons of black coffee from SC's cup before he turned it into Kopi-O, which is a Malaysian brewed coffee with condensed milk. I was so scared that I measured it very carefully. It felt and tasted sooo great I probably had a coffee orgasm in the kitchen, hahahaha.

But later on, I read that drinking coffee is not that bad for pregnant women (unlike wine and smoking and drugs). It's actually okay to drink a little. Even some friends told us the same. So now, I get to drink small servings of Kopi-O every now and then. Just a little, so I can focus on work.

But there were other things--some used to be my favorite---that pregnancy kicked out of my system but hopefully not for good.

I used to love mushrooms. Sauteed mushrooms with soy sauce. I always cook it as a side dish. I also used to cook creamy mushroom pasta. But now, every time I smell or see mushrooms, I feel like vomiting. I cringe, literally.

I experience the same thing with onions. Sauteed red onions to be exact. I used to love mushroom + onions but now, I hate the combo so much we switched to white onions altogether.

During the first trimester, I couldn't cook. Not that I can't get out of bed and cook, I just don't want to. Before you, I would always search Tastemade and Buzzfeed for quick recipes for the whole week. SC likes variety in home cooked meals, so I make sure I have at least 2 to 3 ulam I cook from scratch every week.

But during the first trimester, I felt exhausted and tamad all the time. I put SC in charge of the kitchen, so that means we get to order takeout food most of the time, haha.

Now that we're in our second trimester, I feel the energy and the excitement for cooking come back. There was one week I cooked 4 ulam that we had so many leftovers we just kept heating them. Oh, and for the first time, I was able to cook pochero from scratch but without the saging na saba because they don't have it in Malaysia.

Let's see what else I can whip up in the kitchen this trimester. :)

Love,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

I also notice that despite not being able to exercise as intense as before (with all the kickboxing and weight lifting), I'm not really that big yet.

I mean, I imagine I would balloon like crazy by the time we're 4 months pregnant. But no, I still look like I just have a food baby instead of a real baby inside my tummy.

In fact, Dr. AZ said I actually lost a bit of weight during the 2nd prenatal checkup. Not really sure how that happened but it was probably because of the exhaustion.

When we first found out about you, the first thing we got rid of was coffee. Before, I drink 3 to 4 cups of brewed coffee a day. Some friends already told us before that coffee's not good for pregnancy, same with wine, beer, and anything alcoholic. So we got rid of that first.

Naturally, I felt very sleepy that I take naps every afternoon. I even sleep early, probably because of the lack of caffeine and I feel very tired all the time. Eventually, I read that during the first trimester pregnant women feel tired all the time because apart from the developing the fetus, they're also making the placenta.

But apart from the exhaustion and lower back pains, I don't feel any of the other *normal* pregnancy symptoms like vomiting, nausea, and morning sickness. You know, those things that you see in movies and TV shows all the time.

I felt some cramps, but slightly less painful that the normal premenstrual cramps I go through. Dr.AZ said this is normal during the first trimester. I keep listening to my body why I don't have the normal pregnancy symptoms, I guess I won the lottery.

When your AuntieAD was pregnant with your cousin Vianne, she said she looked like Bella in the Twilight movies when the character was pregnant. She felt sick all the time. She didn't like sunlight and she had a hard time eating so she actually lost so much weight. Her skin turned a bit gray.

I've heard some friends go through many unpleasant pregnancy symptoms so when we found about you, we're always on the lookout for vomiting and morning sickness episodes, but nah.

We're already at #15weeks now and nothing. I hope we feel this way all the way to your full term. :)

Love,





Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

Early in May 2017, SC and I bought 6 months' worth of post-natal lotions and creams for me. We came across this warehouse sale of a big healthcare store here in Malaysia. They do one at least twice a year.

When we saw how cheap they were selling the Palmer's Post Natal Firming Lotion at the event, we immediately grabbed what we can! We could have bought more but we had to take into consideration the expiration dates. If these items are not on sale, they go up as high as MYR30 each. We bought a 2-bottle pack for only MYR10. I mean, wow! I wanted to buy out all the stocks and sell them in Manila at MYR30 each, hahaha.

Since we found out that you're on the way, I've been very diligent with skincare, especially in moisturizing. I read that there's really no sure way to prevent stretch marks but some friends recommended applying pure coconut oil every night. I searched about it online and many say it helps, maybe not to totally prevent stretch marks but at least minimize how they look and help recover faster.

SC and I found a brand that works well for me.


For its size, it's not that expensive. I use this every night. Sometimes, when I'm lazy, I just double up my usual moisturizer, Nivea Intensive Moisture body milk. Also because the smell of the coconut oil is quite powerful.

But I'm glad it doesn't make me feel like vomiting (like how mushrooms and onion are now, more on that later), but I do smell like biko na may latik every time I use it. SC doesn't hate it, but it's not his favorite smell on me either.

Again, this blog is not meant to review any products. Nope, but I still want to share with you some of the things I add to my routine to prepare for you and take care of me. :)

Love,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).