Dear Peanut

Dear, Peanut,

Good day.

It’s Father’s Day today. Yeah, so I had a few greetings from the people who already know you exist.

Your mother got me a gift. It’s a briefcase style laptop bag. I guess it's high time that I stop using backpacks at work as it makes me look juvenile. Though my face has remained almost same for the past 10 years. :)

They say women become mothers once they know that they are pregnant. Men become fathers at the time they see their children for the first time.

I know you already exist. I can see you during ultrasounds and hear your heartbeat. I get excited when I see you during our monthly check-ups though I don’t get giddy as much as your mother.

It's fine, maybe I’ll feel that way when you come out. I don’t know, it's my first time and there is no user manual on how children work and on how to be a parent just like in life.

Oh well, I guess I’ll soon find out in the next few months, until then kid.

Regards,

Dear Peanut,

We're finally back from our short Penang-Taiping (Malaysia) trip. We've been busy with touristy stuff, so let me tell you about this particular walk SC and I had back in Phuket, Thailand earlier this June 2017.

SC has a fascination with animals, and not the ones you can even pet. He likes elephants, lions, tigers, monkeys and more. So when we went to Thailand, we made sure he'd get to ride an elephant. Naturally, I exerted a lot of effort just to make fun of his entire experience.

I wanted to ride the elephant too. Everyone told me it's safe, but I didn't want to risk anything. What if I fall? I'm carrying you. I don't want to put myself in any situation that would harm both of us, so I passed on the chance. We'd get our chance to ride elephants in Thailand again.

But you know what I did instead? I watched a snake show and an elephant show on my own!

I was the only audience in the "private" snake show at the Phuket Safari. Okay, that sounds wrong, hahaha, but really, two snake trainers put on a show with a python and a killer cobra. They even asked me if I want to touch the snakes, I said hell no. I was so scared because there were like 5 snakes in that small tent and 3 humans. Technically, 4 humans but you're still a fetus. I wanted to ask them to open the damn door so I could bolt anytime! I was so scared they finished the entire show in just 10 minutes. What a sissy tourist, they probably thought.

Then the elephant show. I was supposed to be the only audience (again) because they had to replace the elephant ride for the "pregnant tourist" but 2 other tourists ended up watching and then SC followed after his activity.

The baby elephant show was fun but again, I was so scared because the elephant was right there, right in front of me, dancing and kicking soccer balls. It even kissed me on my right ear (more like blew air into my ears) and the video showed me screaming the whole time it was happening.

The following day, SC and I walked to the beach. It was 4-kilometer walk and we did it twice (back and forth from the beach to the hotel). Walking is a good exercise for pregnant women but there are those who believe that it's also bad (usually grandparents) because it's tiring. Well, it is tiring, but we make sure I'm well hydrated and we take breaks.

But it was rainy day in Phuket. We had to wait for the heavy rain to stop and we walked 4 kilometers while it's drizzling. We spent an hour or so at the beach. It was cold but the waters were, amazingly, not that cold.

But the waves are big (but not too big that you can surf), so I stayed close to the shore. I make sure I don't "face" the waves. I turn my back so the waves would hit my back instead of my stomach. Paranoid, yes.

And then we got rained down. Correction, we got sandblasted!

The winds became so strong that fixed beach umbrellas looked like they would be pulled out of their posts. People started screaming because the wind started blowing sand in one direction and it hurt when the small particles hit you. Like sandblasting.

Then the heavy rain followed. We were soaked, even the towels we bought to the beach. We looked for a restaurant we can stay at until the rain passes. Good thing this restaurant-bar along Beach Road has an outdoor sitting designed for dripping wet patrons who come straight from the beach.

We had late lunch there. I had our money stashed inside my sports bra top but we had to pat them dry before we paid our bill. The tom yum soup we ordered was amazing! SC normally doesn't like tom yum but this one he liked very much.

On our walk back to the hotel, we were talking na pasaway akong patient. If we tell Dr.AZ every thing we did in Thailand, baka pagalitan nya ako. Marami akong ginawa na normally iniiwasan ng mga buntis, hahaha.

Ganito pala yung feeling ng mga nanay, lagi nilang inuuna yung safety and health ng mga anak nila. And to think, hindi ka pa lumalabas nyan a.

xoxo,

Dear Peanut,

Today, I felt you "kick" for the very first time!!!

It was our second night in George Town, Penang, Malaysia (we went there for a short vacation). I was lying on the hotel bed, chatting with SC while the TV was on. Then I felt 3 strong kicks on my tummy, left side. It was the very first time I knew for sure that it's you.

I mean, I remember one time I felt some "bubbles popping" inside my stomach. I read in BabyCenter.com that fetal movement feels like that for some mothers. I wasn't sure then, I just assumed that it's you but Dr. AZ said that it might be too early for me to feel anything then (I think around #16Weeks). She said that once I feel you start moving, I'd feel it regularly. And she's right!

I screamed to SC, "Oh my God, naramdaman ko gumalaw si Peanut!" And SC, naturally, doubted it. But before I could grab his hand and put it on my tummy, you kicked again 3 times, this time just as strong as first three. That night, we spent at least 30 minutes waiting for you to move again, with both our hands resting on my stomach. But we didn't feel you kick again.

The next day, I start feeling the so-called "pregnancy butterflies" in the stomach. I read that once you know that it's the baby moving, you'd be able to distinguish it from hunger pangs because the sensation is somewhat the same.

That day, we went to Taiping and I felt the butterflies in my stomach the whole day! Every now and then, I'd feel a light kicking in my stomach. It's light, but I can feel it every single time!

So that second night, I'd take SC's hand and place it where I usually feel your kicks. After several minutes of waiting, he said he felt a light poke on his palm, but he's not so sure. I'd tell him every time I feel you move but he said it's too light for him to feel anything. Pfft.

That second night, I tried pressing my palm to my stomach using a little pressure. The first few times, I was scared that I would hurt you or press down on your nose (silly me). Natakot ako baka maging pango ka! But I checked online and experts said that you're well protected and there's no way I could hurt you with my poking and pressing unless ako mismo masaktan sa pressure na ginagamit ko.

And then magic. Every time I press down on my stomach, you would press back. Sometimes, the "kicks" are longer than others, lasting even 2 seconds! Sometimes, it's so quick or so light. But I feel you every single time.

So I started playing a game. I would press down three times and with every press, you react. It's so wonderful! And I'd smile goofily in the dark, while SC snoozes.

The following morning, I told SC about the pressing thing and your reaction. At first, he doesn't believe me so we gave him a demonstration. I pressed his hand on my stomach (left side again, you kick there a lot) and after a few seconds, he felt a strong kick. That's when he believed me (and felt you move) finally!

I've been obsessed with it since. Sometimes, I would press down on my stomach just to troll you and you'd press back, hahaha. OMG, ganito pala yun.

xoxo,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

So I've been leaving subtle clues about our pregnancy on Facebook. I'm not sure if anyone noticed already. I posted the photo above when we were officially #14Weeks pregnant. BabyCenter.com said you were as big as a lemon that time.

xoxo,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

According to Dr.AZ and other online due date calculators, I will give birth to you either on October 31 or November 1 this 2017.

When we first found out that our due date will coincide with either Halloween or All Saints' Day, we thought, "Oh, this kid will have a lot of trolling to put up with." So we've decided to give you a headstart in troll training.

You see, kids and adults (only the jerk ones, really) can be mean. In the Philippines, when people find out that your birthday coincides with Halloween or All Saint's Day, you'll hear a lot of jokes. Some funny, some not so much.

So what do you do? You need to own it.

Like me, I was born on September 14, 1985, so my parents probably had a good time before Christmas. Your Aunt Pepper was born on All Saint's Day and she's one of the most unapologetically badass Castillo women I know.

Here's the plan: We will put on costumes (at least the ones allowed) while in labor. SC will wear a Batman mask. First, he wanted me to wear a Chubaca mask that will alter my voice, like this woman here. But we're not big Star Wars fans, so I said I'll just wear cat's ears.

Here's the revised plan: After watching Wonder Woman and realizing that, fuck, they should really show this movie in birthing rooms, I told SC that I'll just ask your LoloDaddy to make me the WW headgear and bracelets.

To psyche me up, I'll save all the fight scenes in the movie and watch it on my phone or a tablet before I give birth. She's now my all-time favorite superhero. And since Wonder Woman is Batman's girlfriend (SC's favorite superhero), it sort of fits.



So why are we doing this? This is because we want you to know that the whole world dressed up (since it's Halloween) to celebrate your birthday. :) And who knows, we'll probably have a superhero-themed birthday party when you turn one.

Again, we love themed parties. It would be amazing to see our family and friends dress up as superheroes and villains. You gotta have style.

Let's see. I still have to get those WW headgear and bracelets.



xoxo,

Dear Peanut,

I just finished an interview via Skype, a Singaporean company wanted to do a profile about me as a freelance writer. We were supposed to leave already to go check out this storage company and eat lunch but SC wanted to take a power nap first. So I thought I'd write a blog entry first.

On this particular entry, I want to tell you why we've decided not to announce our pregnancy on Facebook (at least not yet until the 7th month). We're officially #19Weeks pregnant today and a lot of wonderful things are happening.

As you have read in my earlier posts, we created a Joker-HarleyQuinn pregnancy announcement when we first found out about you. Only our immediate family and some close friends have seen it when we told them about our pregnancy via Facebook Messenger and video calls.

There were so many times that I wanted to post it on Facebook already, because every now and then, someone would congratulate us via message. As it turns out, you LolaMommy (LMO) couldn't keep the excitement and has been telling some relatives about you whenever she's cornered, hahaha.

We can't blame them, it's just a wonderful news to share. But SC and I have decided to wait until at least the 7th month before we make announcements online.

The first time I wanted to share it was that day we celebrated Mother's Day in advance here. We went to the mall, brought your ultrasound photos as proof (because I didn't look pregnant that time yet, just busog), and looked for promos we can get at restaurants. Nothing. Malaysia is not as fun when it comes to these celebrations, boo.

The second time was when we waiting for our boarding time to Phuket, Thailand. That trip is #BabyMoonPart1. And I posted an IG photo and wrote a caption: "Boarding now. #BabyMoonPart1. Oops, cat's out of the bag."

I showed it to SC and he told me to change the caption. Please understand that it wasn't because he didn't want to announce it or he wasn't proud. Oh he is very proud. It's just that we already agreed to wait until the 7th month before we make any announcements and I folded. The IG photo was up for about 30 seconds before I changed the caption.

We have several reasons why want to keep it private.

First, it's our first pregnancy and we are deeply terrified about the things we don't know. We are scared that we are doing things that could harm you. I've seen people post the first proof of pregnancy online (peed-on preggy tests) and I think they're wonderful. There's nothing wrong with that. But we want a more creative way to announce you to the world.

Second, social media can be so noisy. By the time you read this, you'll probably be in high school and I sure hope social media is not worse by the time you become a teen.

It would be so nice to be congratulated by family and friends and colleagues online but there would also be noise. I can't quite explain it, but I think what I'm trying to say is that we want to enjoy the privacy and calmness of the pregnancy.

I have a lot of questions that I ask some mommy friends and your LolaMommy and LolaMama. And even your UncleP (medicine student). I enjoy the peace of not posting on Facebook everything that is happening in our lives.

Third, I like the secret. I love the fact that we're keeping this very big, wonderful, amazing secret from the rest of the world. Other than you, we are also working on several secret projects but you are the best project (and when I say you're a project, it's because my body is working double time to "create" you) of all.

It makes us feel kilig. And when we finally decide to share these secrets, especially you, publicly, it would mean so much more and would probably shock more people. Like Georgina Wilson's pregnancy, hahaha.

Anyway, let's see if we'll make that official announcement on the 7th month or wait until I'm already in labor. There's such an astig factor when I finally publicize this blog and the secret FB photo album filled with my pregnancy stories and photos. Like, "Okay, we're on our way to the hospital to give birth now. While I'm in labor, enjoy these blog and photos I've worked on in the past 9 months."

Just remember that we are super duper excited and proud parents-to-be. We are just preparing for a better way to announce your arrival to the world.

xoxo,






Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

Today is the 12th of June. It is our country's Independence day! Yey! Your Mother and I played our national anthem to commemorate it. I thought we should have visited Narra (Filipino restaurant in Petaling Jaya, Malaysia) for some good ol' Filipino food.

Though that's fine, you know why? Because we're going back home to the Philippines! Yes, the place where infrastructure is dated, the government is crappy, and traffic is horrendous.

I have lived in Malaysia in for almost 3 years. It is a nice country, kind of similar to ours but uhhmmm, better. Okay, a whhhhooolllee lllloooott beeetteerrr. Low taxes, good infrastructure, a better quality of life but I know deep down, it's not home.

I would like to think it's fate that I also got a new job back home at the same time you will be coming. I know it will be hard to leave all the comforts and advantages of living abroad but it would be best if you know where you come from and be with your people.

Despite all the cynical descriptions of our home I posted above, I know that our country has great food, world-class beaches, and people who always smile and laugh even in the face of adversity. Beer is cheap, too. :D

I really don't know what to expect in our country when we get back but there's only one way to find out. :D

That's all for now.

Regards,

Dear Peanut,

When SC and I first became a couple, we threw a drinking party for our immediate family and friends at a bar in Mandaluyong. For our church wedding in 2014, we held the reception at a bar in Eastwood City and had a prohibition/gangster theme.

You've probably figured out by now that many of our "parties" always have a drinking theme somehow. It's not that we're alcoholic (don't worry), it's just that we enjoy drinking a glass of wine, beer, scotch, and whiskey for a nightcap.

Before we realized that you're already on the way, I always pour myself a serving of scotch from SC's stash to help me sleep. Of course, when we found out we're pregnant, the alcoholic nightcaps had to go for me. I thought I'd have trouble sleeping, but the pregnancy-related exhaustion does the trick for me.

I remember a few years back, after watching Kingsman: The Secret Service, we thought of having a Kingsman-themed baptism party for you. We'd ask your godparents to dress up and we'd have black umbrellas ala Kingsman for giveaways. And of course, alcohol would be present in the party and we would all give a toast. Cool, huh? We'll do that, unless a more badass movie comes along and we'd change our minds. But for now, let me talk about your baby shower ideas.

Most of the baby shower ideas I see from friends and on the internet all have this flower theme. The mom-to-be would always have a floral headband and the decor would always be in some shade of pastel, usually baby blue and baby pink (which we don't like, but that's for another blog entry). There's nothing wrong with those things, really. But it's just not our style, you know?

So SC and I thought of a baby shower theme we both can live with. And since I've been bombarding your grandparents for Lucban longganisa since the first trimester of my pregnancy, I thought, hey, if we have our baby shower in Manila, I can eat all the longganisa I want.

Years before the hilarious movie Sausage Party came out, we already threw our own version of Sausage Party when your daddy's house in Taytay was blessed. We cooked some sausages and had wine. SC also has this recipe for beer-soaked sausages that his Tishnu friends raved about. We figured, hey let's just throw a Sausage Party-themed baby shower!

So that's the plan.

I'm writing this currently at #19weeks, three weeks before we fly back to Manila. We're planning to have a 3-in-1 celebration in September for your baby shower and our birthdays (SC in August, me in September).

We'd serve different kinds of sausages; ask our friends to bring their favorite type of cheeese and wine, and we'd play Sausage Party in the background. Just to balance it out, we'd have some grapes and sliced fruits thrown in there somewhere. But please no spaghetti or menudo. Those Pinoy favorites can wait for your birthday and other special occasions.

But of course, we have to have something sweet, so we'd probably have my favorite Estrel's caramel cake. Or, if we have a bigger budget, I'd ask my favorite cupcake supplier to create cupcakes for the party. Ohhh, I'm so excited!

P.S. When I told your LolaMommy about this, they said sagot na daw nila yung Lucban longganisa. :) She also gave a nice recommendation about the decor.

LolaMommy: Tapos yung mga lobo instead na bilog yung pahaba na parang titut (slang for penis).


Your grandparents support our creative madness!

Naturally, SC had to remind me to stop turning this into a bachelorette party, hahaha.

I did some Photoshop magic and created a sample baby shower invite. I combined the following images:

Basically, I created a duplicate of the main sausage and fixed the color to mimic a baby's fresh skin. I used the baby's face here for your sausage.

xoxo,







Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Your daddy was named after this alcohol. They just turned the "Juster" into "Jester." Your daddy is literally the Joker. And we've always joked that I'm as crazy as Harley Quinn, Joker's girlfriend. Don't worry, you'll understand DC and Marvel geekdom as you grow older. Remember that you're named after one of the most popular whiskeys in the world.

Now, for the baby girl's name, which I hope would be reserved for Peanut #2 (your future baby sister). Naturally, I insisted on the name "Veronica" for 3 reasons.

First, Veronica Lodge is my all-time favorite character in Archie Comics. She's rich, beautiful, ruthless, and unapologetically real (yeah, even if she's a comic character).

I have a massive collection of Archie Comics, which I hope you'll enjoy when you learn how to read. When I was young, your LoloDaddy often jokes that I am as spoiled as the comic character. I even asked for a credit card extension because "I want to shop like Veronica Lodge." They finally gave me one when I was in college.

Veronica Lodge from Archie Comics

Second, Veronica Mars is one of my all-time favorite TV series. It's not as popular as GOT or Mad Men but it has a cult-like following. Kristen Bell played the role and her portrayal is just so powerful. I hope by the time you're in high school we can still download all 3 seasons of Veronica Mars. It's just so hard to explain.

Veronica Mars

Dear Peanut,

So today, SC and I joined a half-day city tour in Phuket. We normally don't join city tours because we don't like being ushered around, especially the time limit. But we had nothing to do today so we decided to try it out (besides, it's cheap).

We went to this place called Big Buddha Phuket. It's still being built. The trees there are lined with "gold leaves" with names and messages (more like "wishes") from visitors all over the world.

We bought a gold leaf for BHT100 and wrote our names:

You're "Peanut 1" and your future sibling (hopefully, a sister, because I want one of each, hehe) is "Future Peanut 2."

Our family names. :)

While waiting for the airport transfer. Currently at #18weeks.

Still not sure if people think I just look big, hehe.

Dear Peanut

It is I, your creator and eminence. You can address me as Supreme Commander (SC).  I hope you are doing well.

It has roughly been 3 months since we have found out that you are already forming in your mother's womb.

March 3, 2017.  I would never forget that day. I had an interview in the morning, stuff happened at work, and in the evening, your mother decided to take a pregnancy exam and found it positive.

I really didn't know what to feel at that moment, though I remember that your mother is already freaking out, haha.

Yeah, so we went to the doctor to confirm and she did confirm your mother is indeed pregnant. We had an ultrasound but all we saw was a grape-like thing at that time, though the doctor said it was you.

It seems this is really happening. We are going to have a child.

Regards,

Dear Peanut,

So today was your first plane ride...while still inside my tummy. It was the first time I rode an airplane while pregnant. We were so cautious that we asked Dr.AZ if the X-ray machines are safe. She also assured us that most airlines have a 7-month pregnant policy but still, we asked for a doctor's approval letter, hehe.

We flew to Phuket, Thailand for a 7-day holiday. We decided to settle for Phuket instead of Bangkok. I guess we're tired of highly urbanized cities. I remember when we flew to Tokyo last year for a week-long vacation, even if we really enjoyed Tokyo, it was so tiring! And besides, we wanted to just lounge around at the beach.

Photo taken at Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA 1) before we boarded our plane.

First time we flew via Malindo Air.

We were very satisfied with the Malindo Air experience and customer service.

Our first time in Phuket, Thailand!

The flight was supposed to be an hour-long but we arrived ahead of schedule. After a quick lunch at the airport food court (so expensive, lah, gaddemit, p*tang*na!) we took a shuttle that will take us to our hotel along Nanai Road in Patong Beach, Phuket.