Dear, Peanut

It’s been a while, eh? Yeah, we have been busy for the past month or so about a lot of things. Remember the one I told you about the seminars about pregnancy and shit? So we finished 2 already and we have 2 more to go.

I have never seen so many pregnant women in one place that if you scream “Free Chocolate Cake!” there would be a fucking stampede. We learned a lot of things but the 2 most important have yet to be done—Parenting 101 and Preparation for Child Birth. Speaking of childbirth, our OB told us that your mother can give birth any time between October 10 and 31.

So, I looked at the calendar, holy shit! It’s less than a month! I can feel the panic monster behind me, breathing down my neck. But I know that panicking would not contribute anything. I calmly grab that motherfucker by the neck and beat it into submission. I think at the same time I have hatched Operation Nutcracker in my mind.

Okay, Operation Nutcracker is the preparation plan for your arrival. Now, we have already scheduled professional cleaning for our house. As you know, your mother is a major germaphobe that she puts alcohol on everything. You’ll soon know what I’m talking about. I’m also working on getting things set up and prepared in the house because I know I won’t have time to do that when you’re here.

We have bought and were gifted with stuff that you may need. Maybe we’ll need to buy some more as we go along. Your mother told me that we should practice hospital runs to simulate going to the hospital when she’s in labor. I think that’s too much but I pondered on getting an ambulance to fetch us when its time. Yeah, that would be cool because I haven’t ridden an ambulance before (thank God). But Uber/ Grab is fine too, hehe.

We are also in discussion about getting an additional person to help us out in the next few months. Yeah, because you know, having a baby is so much work (as they say) and I think firsthand I’ll know if it indeed takes a goddamned village to raise a child.

Still many tasks to do but slowly well get there. Plans look good on paper. Hopefully, the execution won’t have too many road bumps but if there are, I’m pretty sure we can bulldoze right through it because we don’t stop for anything or anyone for your arrival.

Regards,