Dear Peanut,

These past few days, we’ve been using every opportunity to walk to help “bring you down” and induce labor naturally. So, naturally, your LolaMommy and LoloDaddy would invite us to go with them to SM malls so we can “walk.”

One time, we attempted to visit the Marikina Sports Center and walk around. I dressed the part - complete with the training shoes I haven't worn in months - and still, we ended up at UP Town Center because, well, it rained that afternoon.

At home, I’ve gotten used to taking the fire exit from the 20 something-something floor all the way down to the ground floor. I’m not sure if they have CCTV cameras in the fire exits but if they do, I wonder what the guards are probably thinking whenever they see a heavily pregnant woman taking the stairs 20++ floors down once a day, hehe.

One time, I noticed a leakage in the pipes on one of the lower floors. Not really sure what it was, didn’t smell like gas, no smell at all, but all my paranoid genes went into hyper mode and told the guards what I found. They sent the engineering team to the area ASAP and later told me, “Ma’am, pressure lang po iyon, wala pong gas na nag-li-leak.” Well, good to know.

Anyway, as the title suggests, the point of this entry is to chronicle how we’ve been using you as a scapegoat these past few months.

Back in Malaysia, I don’t remember seeing courtesy lanes for the elderly and pregnant women. Maybe they have it, maybe I wasn’t just paying attention. They were no good to me anyway because I didn’t look pregnant yet.

But here in the Philippines, it is a fucking big deal that you can give a bank or a store manager the evil eye if they don’t have a priority lane for PWDs, pregnant women, and seniors. You can literally see how the store/bank staff stiffen up whenever a pregnant woman walks in. It’s the mental equivalent of rolling out the red carpet AND I FUCKING LOVE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT.

In the past few months, you LolaMommy has been dragging me along to her bank runs. While she’s already a VIP (preferred client) with BPI, she’s not as powerful with BDO and other banks yet. So she brings me along and we just zip past the long lines (those poor unfortunate souls, hahahaha) of weary people and finish our business in 5 minutes or less.

The same thing happens whenever we do our groceries. I fucking love those courtesy lanes, especially in Robinson’s Galleria where I get to shoo away rowdy kids who sit on the chairs intended for pregnant ladies. Harharhar.

But I think one of the best stories was that one time we almost got a ticket because your grandparents forgot about the number coding scheme. We were in a rush to catch the early screening time of Seven Sundays at one of those SM Malls. When your LolaMommy saw the traffic enforcer, she nearly screamed because she forgot about the coding scheme (we should have brought the other car). That’s when you came to our rescue.

We opened our windows a bit and told the traffic enforcer that they’re rushing to get me to the TMC clinic in SM Marikina. Fake panic in their voice added for more drama.

Naturally, I played the part and I showed off my very pregnant self to the traffic enforcer and he waved us off. It was hilarious, really. No harm done.

P.S. Lying is wrong but, but, allow us to enjoy these preggy perks because we’re due to pop anytime now and then we’d be back to being one of those poor unfortunate souls who have no choice but to wait in line because most of the services in this country is crappy.

XOXO,