Dear Peanut,
I started this Mother's Day tradition back in 2015. I told myself that wherever I am on this special day, I would post the photo below:
That's your one-year-old, half-naked mother with your 23 or 24-year-old LolaMommy. Gulat ka no? Parang young Sharon Cuneta lang, LOL.
In 2015, I was in Manila when I posted this, preparing to leave for Kuala Lumpur. It was the time when I gave up my career as a communications specialist for one of the biggest companies in the world to follow your Daddy abroad. I don't believe in long distance relationships and I put my family first. I have always been career-obsessed so it took me a long time to deal with that big decision.
In 2016, I was in Tokyo, Japan when I posted this from our hotel, preparing to fly back to Kuala Lumpur (where we lived for a few years). We had our long-overdue honeymoon in Tokyo, three years after our civil wedding and two years after our church wedding. We spent one week in Tokyo during the Golden Week (long weekend because of back-to-back holidays, everyone was out of town) and had fun stuffing ourselves with authentic sushi, ramen, and Yoshinoya, haha.
In 2017, I was in Petaling Jaya, Kuala Lumpur, in our rental condo. I posted it after running errands. If I'm not mistaken, your father and I were preparing for our trips to Phuket, Thailand and Penang, Malaysia prior to our move back to Manila, PH. It was also the time when I got disappointment because Mother's Day in Malaysia is boring as fuck. You can read it here.
This 2018, I posted this photo in the Philippines, with Metro Channel in the background and you screaming like a banshee on your tumba-tumba beside me. We have a screaming banshee for a son! Sometimes, you'd scream because...wala lang.
But this year is extra special because it's my first Mother's Day with you outside my tummy. Last year, I felt your kicks too. This time, I can also feel your wails, slaps, kicks, and headbangs. I think part of being a mother is being slapped by a really happy and excited kid every single day. Nice!
This year, I also started a new Mother's Day tradition for your LolaMommy. I would post the same photo with an accompanying photo. We tried to recreate it but clearly, I'm not as photogenic as your LolaMommy and you're not as well-behaved as I was when the photos were taken. Well, at least the smiley emojis were identical.
Next year, we'll try again and I'll rock the same daster and maybe a few more props, like the electric fan to the side, a houseplant, and an abstract painting. Actually, the daster is our gift to your LolaMommy back in 2015. We bought it at a stall in Central Market in Malaysia. She loaned it to me when I was pregnant with you. I haven't returned it yet, haha.
I wanted to give your LolaMommy the best Hallmark card, ever. But I couldn't find one that fits. So I turned your first artwork (below) into a card and wrote a letter to mom. I told her that I understand it all now—the sacrifices, the fears, the joys, the happiness, the tears, the pride...
Your LolaMommy and I have had a lot of disagreements and fights in the past. I remember she once told me, while we were preparing to go sight-seeing in Singapore, "Sabi nga nila, you will only realize that your mother is right when you already have a daughter who thinks you're wrong."
Well, I'm glad that I realized it earlier. I know that I have a lot more to face and experience as a mother but I pray that your LolaMommy and LoloDaddy will always be there to support and guide me and your Daddy.
Being new parents is terrifying. OMG, before I thought babies are born with great skin, like those in diaper commercials. Putragis, babies go through a phase of varying skin conditions like milia and diaper rash and I swear each new bump on the skin or red spot is enough to make parents frantically call their pedia or rush to the ER and basically go nuts.
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| Your first artwork as a gift to LolaMommy. :) |
I used to keep a burn book with the names of relatives I want to punch in the face. But you know what, it's easier to just erase them in our lives. I literally deleted them on Facebook because at this point in my life, if I don't like you, bye.
Being a mother does that a person, I guess. I need to make more space and more time to cultivate the relationships I want to build. Also, I want to focus on the things and people who matter. O diba, jinustify ko pa ang pagiging maldita ko, joke lang. Maybe one day, you'll also understand me.
That's it for now. Ang dami ko na naman sinabi.
I love you! :D
xoxo,
