Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut,

Today, we did an Amazing Race-style day trip at TMC. Nothing serious, thank God. They were all scheduled checkups but I wanted to emphasize how it ended up feeling like a race because it tested your parents’ project and time management skillz (yes, with a ‘z’, hahaha).

We left home at around 11:30 am and reached TMC a few minutes before 12nn. We needed to go to the HMO office first to swipe our new cards (Yey! You and I used our HMO cards for the first time, thank you to your daddy’s very generous company!) and get prepare the paperwork. I told SC to head straight to Dra.CTP’s clinic because the line there is always a “blockbuster” one.

HMO Guy: Ma’am ilang doctors po ang kailangan ninyo?
Me: Madami.

I gave him the list of all the doctors we had to see today complete with our concerns and scheduled activities. We needed to see 4 (Pedia and Allergist for you; EENT for your daddy, and orthopedic for me). The HMO guy was surprised (in a good way) but we managed to get everything in less than 10 minutes.

PEDIA: It’s official (once again), you’re fat.

Dra.CTP that your current weight is good for a 5-month-old baby already. You’re currently 4 months and 19 days old. But no need to go on a diet, sheesh, just pace the feeding.

And it seems you really have a thing for pretty ladies. Whenever you see one, you’d squirm and smile and twist and basically do this cutiepie thing so your pedia was really entertained by you. When we pulled down your pants to get ready for the vaccine shot, you’re all smiles but when you realized what was happening, nabingi na naman kaming lahat sa iyak mo.

So the crying knocked you out and you slept for quite some time while we had lunch at Pancake House. At one point, you faked your sleep but was probably too tired to cry again. There were female interns beside our table and you did the cutiepie thing again that earned you some praises.  Show off, hahaha.

After lunch, we headed straight to your allergist and she confirmed what we suspected all along—you have atopic dermatitis (AD), also known as atopic eczema, which you inherited from both of us, but mostly from me because I have a family history of skin asthma. Nothing serious, yours is a mild case. We just need better lotion and moisturizer to keep your skin hydrated and keep the flare-ups at bay. In short, maarte ka din sa balat like me.

To save time, you and your father waited together for his turn at the EENT clinic while I did the leg work and paperwork for my requested knee X-rays. I was waiting for my turn at the X-ray room when you father sent me an SMS.

SC: Babe, nasaan ka na? Dito na doctor. Peanut is with the receptionist.
QB: Hala, tulog ba? Nakapila ako sa X-ray.
SC: Hindi, I can hear him kicking up a fuss.
QB: Oh no, sige pupunta na ako diyan.
SC: But mukhang okay na.

So I bolted from the seat and ran straight back to the elevators. God paved the way and I got the express elevator that got me from the ground floor to the 14th floor in less than 3 minutes.

When I arrived at the EENT clinic, one of the receptionists was carrying you and you have this resting bitch-semi shocked face that probably said, “I don’t know who you are but you’re warm, you’re soft (she was a bit on the chubby side) and where the hell is my mother?!?!?!”

At that moment, I didn’t panic that a stranger was holding my child. It only hit me now that I shouldn’t have allowed that. Anyway, we just laughed about afterwardrds, chalking it up to the kindness of strangers but I will never do that ever again. OH MY GOD, KINILABUTAN AKO JUST NOW.

After spending nearly 6 hours at TMC and blazing through 4 checkups, we checked out the TMC cafeteria bought a doner and a donut (which we rarely eat) because we fucking deserve it.

This day has completely depleted my energy that I slept in the car on our way back home. I was so tired that I almost snapped at the HYPEBEAST-looking teenage batang hamog girls who were in my way, blocking the entrance to the elevators. The short nap snapped me out of it and now it’s back to work.
I wrote this now because I want to chronicle how this day went well. Sharing with this scene at the clinic earlier:

I walked into the clinic of an orthopedic whose wife is a plastic surgeon.

SC: (opened the door, he and Peanut were outside, waiting): Honey! Magpapa-plastic surgery ka???
QB:  (while the secretary was busy typing my information into the computer): Sira, yung orthopedic ang pupuntahan ko, hindi yung plastic surgeon. Bakit akala mo breast augmentation no?
SC: Hindi, akala ko papaayos mo na yung mukha mo eh.

One of these days, I swear, sasampalin ko yang tatay mo in his sleep. Two years ago, he was snoring really loudly and I kicked him off the bed. He fell and when he asked me what happened, I told him baka nanaginip lang sya. At naniwala naman.

xoxo,


Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear, Peanut

We went to your doctor today and we are at 30 weeks! Wow, time flies fast, eh?  I think the normal pregnancy is like around 40 weeks, so 10 weeks to go, yeah.

So the doctor ordered to have a checkup every 2 weeks from now on and I can hear our wallets crying already.

Moreover, we still don’t know a lot of things, but yeah we are working on it. We're going to attend some classes on pregnancy, breastfeeding, and all that shit to have an idea about having a child. So it's gonna a be very busy 10 weeks ahead of us.

The doctor gave us a couple of meds necessary for your development. You know, the usual shit, like calcium, iron, and folic acid. She said that, if based on the checkup and if you're not growing bigger, she would recommend amino acids. Then it hit me. The protein shakes I take have amino acids and I wondered if it is possible to make your mother take protein shakes.

I have very good and logical reasons for this.

First, she always feels hungry and keeps raiding our kitchen. Drinking protein shakes will allow her to feel full thus preventing her from eating everything in her path.

Second, of course, it's protein. So it’s good for you and your body will grow big and strong---such that your mother won’t need to exert too much effort in expelling you from her snatch as you can just basically crawl out of it since you're already jacked up from the get-go.

The doctor warned that some protein shakes might have testosterone and the effects could be potentially bad for you. She also mentioned some of the potential side effects such as having a mustache and getting a 6-inch dick when you are born.

Well, I think having a baby mustache and a 6-inch dick would be the shiznit! Though, I think, we would have a hard time fitting you in nappies. XD

So, no protein shakes for your mother then.

Regards,

Crayon Shin-chan is a popular anime show shown on TV when we were younger. You and SC should do this when you're a older, yeah?

That's not your face. the perfect circle on the left side of what looks like your face is actually your stomach. I actually can't imagine it but since you're only as big as an apple now, it makes sense.

This scan shows the size of your head.

Don't panic, you don't look like this.

Dear Peanut,

On April 20, 2017, we had our third prenatal checkup at Columbia Hospital PJ with Dr.AZ. And today, we heard---for the very first time---your heartbeat!

I read once that a baby's heartbeat sounds like galloping horses. But SC said it sounded more like a hovering helicopter. So we called it your Helicopter Heartbeat.

The whole experience felt sooooooooo amazing, that I even cried a bit because I felt so happy. Even SC felt the paternal strings tug a bit when he first heard your heart beating.

We also saw it on the screen (blue lights flickering fast). We tried to record it on SC's phone but when we played it back, it's too faint to hear. But when it was happening in real time, your Helicopter Heartbeat was so loud it filled the entire room.

We also saw your baby shape for the first time today. At #11Weeks, you were past your Alien Phase (you know, you looked like an alien during the first trimester---at least that's how it's shown in many online references). And based on the ultrasound, you're already filling up the small black hole that's your home inside my body.

During our third prenatal checkup, SC and I decided to take the First Trimester Screening test. I've read a great deal about this and even asked a fellow Filipina expat mom we met in Kuala Lumpur.

It's combined ultrasound and blood test. The goal is to see if you have high or low risk of developing chromosomal abnormalities, including Down Syndrome. It's a screening test, not diagnostic, which means it only shows us a range.

If the results show you're at high risk, we can decide to get the diagnostic test but this later test is invasive, which means they'll get a blood sample from you and it comes with a slight risk of miscarriage. And I don't want that.

Dr.AZ explained to me that the screening test is non-invasive and they'll just get my blood for testing. During the first phase of the screening test, Dr.AZ took a longer time with the ultrasound. She made a lot of measurements and at one point, you even turned around. "Baby is turning," she said. You probably got annoyed with all the extra poking in your home.

But we saw you move! It was so amazing!

Your third selfie photo at #11Weeks. You are so much visible now! :)

After the checkup, we were told to go the laboratory for my blood test. The doctor also gave me new medicine to take, a calcium supplement and some multivitamins. By this time, we already finished your folic acid supplements.

Dr.AZ gave me calcium supplements too because I told her I don't like the taste of maternity milk. Well, even before I really don't like powdered milk. Maternity milk just tastes so sweet and even if I dilute it, it makes me wince. Not that I would puke it all out but the smell is enough to make me forget that I actually need it.

This is why I drink it every other day, once a day. When Dr.AZ told me I was supposed to drink 2 to 3 glasses every day, I immediately felt guilty. I got extremely worried that I wasn't doing you good so I immediately asked for calcium supplements. Your AuntieAD also took calcium supplements because she hates milk and she told me it's okay.

Honestly, I wanted to use the maternity milk to make polvoron but SC stopped me.

So that's what happened during your 3rd prenatal checkup. This is when we realized that you look like peanut. So we started calling you Peanut instead of baby, hehe.

We showed LMO and LD your third selfie photo and LMO couldn't see the "peanut" shape in the ultrasound photo. She told us you look like an owl. Where the fuck did that come from? hahaha. So, we sent her this:


See? There you are, anak. :)

Love,











Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

Dear Peanut,

We had our second prenatal checkup less than two weeks after the first one. This time, we scheduled our checkup at 2:00 P.M. instead of the usual 3:00 P.M. and we had to wait a little because Dr.AZ was still out at lunch.

If we're living in the Philippines by the time you read this, it might sound a bit strange. Normally, working people break for lunch in PH at around 12:00 to 1:00 PM. But here in Malaysia (where I'm writing this now), it's normal for lunch to extend up to 2:00 P.M.

It's a bit lax here, laidback, which can be a good thing, lah. "Lah" is slang here, similar to "naman" in Tagalog. But as we have eventually realized, it's boring here. I'll tell you more about this in later entries.

So we had our checkup at around 2:30 P.M. already. But that's okay. We just made a mental note to schedule our checkups at 3:00 P.M. moving forward.

I don't look pregnant yet. I just look like I had a very hearty lunch.

As usual, I asked Dr.AZ a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of questions. I have this pink notebook where I write down all my questions, observations, maternity recipes, medicines, and milestones.

Dr.AZ answered all of my questions and put my mind at ease because, as SC put it, I get paranoid easily and to start with, I am a bit crazy, haha. I just want to be sure that I'm not doing anything that could harm you.

During our second ultrasound, we can see a bit of you already in the small black hole where you're supposed to be. You're still super duper tiny. And we can't make out the shape yet. But in my head, you're already very big and kicking and making such a fuss.

This is your second selfie photo at #6Weeks. See? There you are, peeking at us. You look like an edamame bean, hahaha.

Dr.AZ showed us a C-shaped ring and she said normally, when that's visible in the ultrasound, it means the baby is getting the right nutrients. We think it's the umbilical cord, we forgot to ask but that's where you're getting your food, so that must be it.

Dr.AZ said we can already hear your heartbeat at this point. She first showed us your beating heart on the screen and highlighted it with blue light. Your heart's beating (and blinking) so fast.

The doctor said a baby's heartbeat is really faster than that of an average adult, so you're doing fine. She tried to let us hear the heartbeat but the sound is too faint. However, she assured us that everything is okay, and "baby is okay," her favorite line.

We are always excited for our prenatal checkups because we know we'll get new photos of you.

From that point forward, it all felt surreal. I mean, come one, there's a little heart beating inside my tummy. There are two hearts inside my body! It's like Inception, pregnancy version.

It's just so magical and a bit weird knowing that my tummy is home to a little human. And not just the burgers, pizza, popcorn, jackfruit, salted egg squid, and all the other things I love eating way before you arrive. SC and I always joke that I have a food baby, but now, it's a human baby! Amazing, huh?

As usual, I asked SC if he feels like a Daddy already. Medyo lang daw. Ang kulit talaga ng tatay mo!


Love,

Dear Peanut,

After several sleepless nights (sleepless not because of pregnancy symptoms---I didn't have the usual morning sickness, I kept waiting but nada; sleepless because of anxiety, really), we did what every responsible, expecting couple would do: go on a first prenatal checkup. Yes, we took CTRL (control)!

As I write this (at 13 weeks!), we currently live in a nice suburb in Malaysia called Petaling Jaya. It's about 25 minutes away by car from Kuala Lumpur, the famous capital with the beautiful Petronas Towers. We live in a two-bedroom, two-bath condominium called PJ Centerstage.

It's beautiful here and it has been our home for nearly two years. It's spacious too, compared to the 24-sqm one-bedroom (but really more like a studio) condo unit SC and I rented in Mandaluyong, Metro Manila, Philippines.

Your grandparents, Lolo Daddy (LD) and Lola Mommy (LMO) and your aunties A and D and Uncle P visited us here already in Malaysia. Your Lola Mama (LMA) has yet to visit because she still has not renewed her passport.

Several of your other aunties, uncles, and future godparents also visited us in Malaysia in the past 2 years and some stayed in the second bedroom. This is why I've been very diligent in posting photos on Facebook, because someday, SC and I want to show them to you.

So, where were we? Oh yeah, so we took control. As you may already know by know, my stories tend to go one way and then another. By the time you read this blog, you're probably used to it (or annoyed). Anyway...

SC and TM at Columbia Hospital

The nearest private hospital here is Columbia Hospital PJ. We've been there once, in August 2016 when we had our annual physical checkup. They're as efficient as The Medical City (TMC) in Manila, Philippines. We had a great experience in Columbia Hospital PJ so we decided to check there first.

Unlike in the Philippines, where your LMO and Uncle P have a lot of strong connections in the medical field (As I write this, your Uncle P is still in his 3rd year in medical school---UP College of Medicine lang naman!), we don't know anyone here. So we searched the website and we decided to see a Malay female doctor who we'll call Dr.AZ.

The waiting area in front of Dr.AZ's office. Very clean, very bright, and very cold.

On March 3, 2017, we had our first prenatal checkup at 3:00 P.M.

It must be the pregnancy hormones but I felt like I had a huge grin on my face the whole time it was happening. When the nurse took my weight and height measurements and asked me for the first time, "Are you pregnant?" I sort of giggled, "Yes." And I don't giggle!!

When she asked me, "How far long are you?" I said, "Oh, we just found out last March 2 and I think we're two weeks pregnant." Yes, complete with the date!



The first time we met Dr.AZ, we immediately felt at ease with her. She's soft-spoken, helpful, and pretty too! The first thing she did was to confirm our pregnancy.

It was the first time I've had an ultrasound for the sole purpose of confirming a pregnancy and the entire experience was surreal. It felt like a scene in a movie wherein the expecting couple looks at the ultrasound screen and sees their baby moving, complete with a nice OST and tears of joy.

I felt exactly the same way, but we didn't see you yet. Dr.AZ showed us a small black hole in my tummy where you're supposed to be. Next to you was another small black hole.

Dr.AZ said it's a small tumor but it normally goes away as the pregnancy progresses, and it did go away eventually. That's how it was in reality, but in my head, my stomach is already as big as a watermelon and you're already kicking and doing Assassin's Creed-like parkour moves inside my tummy. Okay, I hallucinated a bit.

Dr.AZ said that we're already over a month pregnant. Hahaha, I felt stupid because I told the nurse that we were 2 weeks pregnant. And she was standing right there inside the office because she's Dr.AZ's assistant. She probably mouthed, "Hmph, amateurs," hahahaha.

I also felt guilty because just last week, SC, me, your Uncle Onin, and Uncle Rogel from Singapore partied in Bukit Bintang. I drank beer, vodka, and smoked shisha.

We called it our Latino Night because we also went samba dancing (or at least that's what it was supposed to be called) at some bar in Bukit Bintang until the Polis (Malaysian police) came and ruined the party vibe. Boo. We thought it was a random booze check but we weren't really sure because there were Polis all around the area.

That means we're already one month pregnant and I'm still samba dancing, drinking, and shisha-ing in full party mode. Cool, huh? Yes, the purpose of this blog is to prove to you that your parents are cool!

Back to the first prenatal checkup.

There were so many forms we needed to fill out! I remember asking the nurse what I should put in the "Mother's Name" part. I mean, I just wanted to make sure if it's supposed to be my Mother's Maiden Name (because you'll spend the rest of your life using your Mother's Maiden Name in many formal documents).

How was I supposed to know that I needed to put my name in there because the form is actually for you? SC laughed. I laughed. The nurse laughed. So that was the day I officially entered the Mother demographic and all these baby and mama brands in Malaysia started bombarding me with emailers.

I have officially entered the point of no return - the Mothers demographic.

But it has its perks! Dr.AZ gave us a pregnancy kit---okay, it's just a folder with some brochures and a small book about how to take care of babies but hey, free stuff! She also gave us some folic acid and some maternity milk (we started calling it Mama Milk) to take.

Your first appointment card.

So that's how your first prenatal checkup went.

A few years ago, I thought my maternal instincts wouldn't start kicking in until maybe I'm in my late 30s. Honestly, I thought I wouldn't want children. Heck, I once thought I didn't want marriage, especially the responsibilities that come with it.

It took me a really loooooong time to wrap my head around the married life part. I once thought I didn't want to be the "other half" of someone. I wanted to be my own whole self. To each his own, but I have learned that with the right person---someone who treats you as an equal---you will never feel like a "half."

And soon, you'll realize why I often call myself SC's strongest ally and secret weapon (release the KRAKEN)!

So yeah, it took me a long time to feel married. But I didn't expect that a single ultrasound would jumpstart my maternal engine into full gear. You know, like how you jump start a car when the batteries are dead. It felt that way somehow. Like the thought of having a developing human being inside my tummy revved my Mommy Engine into action.

This is your first selfie photo at 4 weeks. :)

As I write this, we're already 13 weeks pregnant. I don't feel like a mommy yet. They say a mother is born when the baby is born. We still have a long way to go. But since that day, during your first prenatal checkup, I felt that something changed. Like I said, I have officially entered the point of no return. Let's see if you drive me crazy when you finally arrive.

They say that the boobs get bigger when you get pregnant....

...SC completely agrees and approves, hahaha! Very excited mommy-to-be!

P.S. I asked SC if he felt the paternal strings tug when he saw the ultrasound. He said "not really." Argh, men! He said maybe when my tummy is big already or when I'm already in labor that he'll feel like a daddy already. I can't wait for that day.

Peanut, your father can be a pain in the ass sometimes.

xoxo,









Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).