Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut,

Do you remember Pesky, the fly that always hangs around the house? Yeah, I know he’s dead but there’s another fly that also started hanging around our house. He’s also a bit clingy and always hangs out wherever we are but not as annoying as Pesky.

Initially, I thought Pesky came back from the dead but looking at this new fly, it’s a bit smaller and less clingy. Thus, we have named him Pesky Jr. (PJR).

I also noticed there’s another fly that is hanging around the house. This one is like, fat, so I know it’s not Pesky Jr. But for reference, let’s call him Fatso. I think he’s PJR’s friend whom he invited to the house to hang out. They are alike the fly version of Bulk and Skull from the Power Rangers TV show.

I think Pesky Jr. is a teenager, you know why? Because we rarely see him around the house. It seems that he just comes home when he is tired, hungry, and out of money. Hey, it reminds me of myself.

I remember my teenage years and all the time that we have on our hands. I’m usually outside the house, going to my friend’s house, hanging out, playing video games, talking, and getting piss drunk. I have a friend whose house has a sari-sari store with all the booze and snacks that we can have. Therefore, his house became our headquarters, hehe. Though it had been ages since we went back there, I think our tab would already be a mile long or maybe we were banned because we did not pay the bill most of the time.

I’d also go out with my band friends and attend their gigs, go to their friends, meet new people, explore new places, and just having a blast. These days, I don’t really get to go out much often. Well, I go out for work mainly and chores, but that’s about it. I’m also a bit lazy to go out now because I’m usually tired from the daily grind.

But you know what, that’s fine. I guess that’s what growing old is about. I guess you’ll also know what I’m talking about in due time. For now, you just hang out in your mother’s belly.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

Okay, so we have been staying in our condo for quite some time. Yeah, it’s nice, 3 pools, basketball court, and resort-like vibe. We live on the high-rise floor and our unit has a balcony where you can see the cityscape.

Amidst the all the great stuff that we have in our living quarters, we have had a bit of a problem. You see, there was this one annoying house fly that kept hanging around the house. I think it was about a week or two and it seemed that he never leaves as if he was paying rent. We have tried to get rid of him but after unsuccessful attempts, we have decided that we will take him in. We have named him Pesky The Fly.

Pesky flies around us most of the time and lands on our arms, legs, or whatever body part. We swat him away then he leaves only to come back and annoy us some more. One time, he landed on my face and I slapped myself trying to get rid of him. Your mother laughed and she said that it also happened to her. Stupid fly.

One evening, when we were about to sleep, I saw Pesky lounging around the bedroom. I got my trusty slipper and swatted him with lightning fast speed. Finally, Pesky fell. I saw his lifeless body at the back of the nightstand and decided to leave it there. I thought your mother would be glad that Pesky is gone but for some reason, she wasn’t very happy about me leaving Pesky’s body to decompose inside the house.

It’s actually not a bit deal but knowing your mother, she makes a big deal about small things, like a house fly. Then she went on ranting about cleanliness and other unrelated stuff that her woman brain tells her to say. I can’t believe it she is seriously upset about a fucking house fly.

Then it dawned me, Pesky, with his dying breath has cursed me, made my wife upset just to troll me one last time. Damn you, Pesky, well played.

Wherever you are, I hope you have all the trash that you can eat, shit and hangout with all your house fly friends. I hope when you look down from fly heaven, you can see me from my balcony raising my middle finger to you. I’ll never forget you, Pesky, mostly because you owe me 3 weeks of rent, you freeloading shit bag.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

So tonight, I was supposed to edit a manuscript for one of my #YAI2017 students. But your AuntieMarley sent me a message on Facebook and asked something about a project we worked on before.

And then boom, we started talking about baby stuff, like breastfeeding and breast pumps and seminars and all things I haven’t really studied yet.

I mean, I know I’m supposed to research on these things soon, and we, umm, sort of umm scheduled it later this month because, err, we keep delaying it because, um, it is just so overwhelming!!

I mean, it’s like algebra to me.

I know next to nothing about how these things work and SC is being a pain in the ass trolling me that he’ll do the breast pumping himself and shit and that I don’t need all these fancy-ass breast pump machines and I just end up getting all riled up and we’ll end up fighting because it is just too much-----we both don’t know anything about being new parents!!!

When you finally pop out, it will be like our baptism of fire. Nothing can really prepare you for the birth of your child, they say. Not even our own parents and now I’m worried because some of the things our parents (your grandparents) know about childcare are outdated already.

Like how am I supposed to know that there’s a proper way of latching onto a nipple?? I read about it in the baby book we bought in Manila but WTF, how do I do that in real life? It’s not like I can practice with SC!

And when I try to explain all the things I read and learn to SC he’ll just say, it’s natural babe, you don’t need this and that…argh!!!

Like just a few minutes ago, we were arguing about the Medela breast pump machine, he said, “Babies know that already. Kahit ako lumapit sa breast mo, magla-latch ako.”

So I screamed at him to stop trolling me and I felt you kick and punch and make a fuss inside my tummy. So instead of editing, I just logged onto YouTube and decided to play some classical music so we can bond.

Anyway, there’s a Mommy / Baby Clearance Sale this weekend in Ortigas so we’ll go there on Sunday. Tomorrow, we watch Indie Films first. And we told ourselves that starting this August, we’ll dedicate Saturdays attending new parents seminars and all those events we had no interest before.

This new parents thing is just so overwhelming, anak. I hope you understand that we are doing everything we can.

And oh, we have an ocular tomorrow for your badass sausage party-themed baby shower. We need to calm our tits because we are slowly transitioning into a stag/bachelorette party instead of the usual baby shower.

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

So tonight is our 2nd night in our new condo in Manila, Philippines. SC is sending requirements for the Wi-Fi installation while I’m writing a blog entry in Word Document.

Yes, no Wi-Fi yet, so this morning, I had to hang out at the condo lobby to connect and send emails. Setting up our new nest in a [technically not new] country takes some time.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks! Both exciting and stressful.

First off, after our Penang-Taiping trip in Malaysia, SC and I started packing our stuff in Malaysia for Philippines. The original plan was to get 90kg worth of baggage through Malaysia Airlines because we don’t want to deal with Air Asia for our coming home trip. But when we booked our flights, we couldn’t but extra 30kg baggage anymore. So, we were fucked.

How do you pack your entire life in Malaysia into 60kg worth of baggage???

And because I'm 4 months pregnant, your father has to carry most of the stuff
we had to bring home. Buti nalang nag-gi-gym siya, hehehe.

Goodbye, Delle! I will miss you and the friendly baristas. "Ai" (the Malaysia barista who became my friend) gave us two iced coffees before we left. So sweet!

The solution was to get storage in Malaysia for half a year. Since SC’s new job requires ASEAN travel, we thought (hope) his new company will send him to KL in the next six months so he can get the things we left there—like his 2 guitars, our ironing board, my collection of Archie Comics and Janet Evanovich books, new desktop printer, and more.

SC discovered this shipping company based in Kotaraya Mall (the Mothership, as we call it—in every country, there’s a mall where Filipinos abroad congregate and where the fucking ensaymada is always dry and 10 times more expensive.

First, we bought the biggest balikbayan box they sell. But after putting your stroller and crib, we quickly ran out of space. And since it was Hari Raya (one of Malaysia’s biggest holidays, like Christmas in PH), offices were closed for two days.

Thank God for Pinoys abroad! Tathy (the girl from Jolly-Bee) opened the office for us and we bought another XXL balikbayan box and packed whatever we could fit in there.

At this point, I’m already an expert in Tetris, so we were able to pack a lot, efficiently. Poor SC had to do 99.9 percent of the heavy lifting and cling wrapping because I’m not allowed to carry heavy items for now (preggy perks, hehe).

The Malay delivery boys picked up the two massive balikbayan boxes from our Malaysia condo at 10:30 AM, an hour before we had to leave for the airport. Thank you, Tathy for coordinating the early pick-up. We are so grateful to this Filipina in Kotaraya. When we go to MY again, we’ll bring her another Starbucks treat (just like we did when she opened the office for us on Hari Raya!).

But that’s not the most stressful part of our departure from Malaysia. We had to deal with 40kg worth of excess baggage at the airport! I’ll tell you all about it in the next entry.

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

We're finally back from our short Penang-Taiping (Malaysia) trip. We've been busy with touristy stuff, so let me tell you about this particular walk SC and I had back in Phuket, Thailand earlier this June 2017.

SC has a fascination with animals, and not the ones you can even pet. He likes elephants, lions, tigers, monkeys and more. So when we went to Thailand, we made sure he'd get to ride an elephant. Naturally, I exerted a lot of effort just to make fun of his entire experience.

I wanted to ride the elephant too. Everyone told me it's safe, but I didn't want to risk anything. What if I fall? I'm carrying you. I don't want to put myself in any situation that would harm both of us, so I passed on the chance. We'd get our chance to ride elephants in Thailand again.

But you know what I did instead? I watched a snake show and an elephant show on my own!

I was the only audience in the "private" snake show at the Phuket Safari. Okay, that sounds wrong, hahaha, but really, two snake trainers put on a show with a python and a killer cobra. They even asked me if I want to touch the snakes, I said hell no. I was so scared because there were like 5 snakes in that small tent and 3 humans. Technically, 4 humans but you're still a fetus. I wanted to ask them to open the damn door so I could bolt anytime! I was so scared they finished the entire show in just 10 minutes. What a sissy tourist, they probably thought.

Then the elephant show. I was supposed to be the only audience (again) because they had to replace the elephant ride for the "pregnant tourist" but 2 other tourists ended up watching and then SC followed after his activity.

The baby elephant show was fun but again, I was so scared because the elephant was right there, right in front of me, dancing and kicking soccer balls. It even kissed me on my right ear (more like blew air into my ears) and the video showed me screaming the whole time it was happening.

The following day, SC and I walked to the beach. It was 4-kilometer walk and we did it twice (back and forth from the beach to the hotel). Walking is a good exercise for pregnant women but there are those who believe that it's also bad (usually grandparents) because it's tiring. Well, it is tiring, but we make sure I'm well hydrated and we take breaks.

But it was rainy day in Phuket. We had to wait for the heavy rain to stop and we walked 4 kilometers while it's drizzling. We spent an hour or so at the beach. It was cold but the waters were, amazingly, not that cold.

But the waves are big (but not too big that you can surf), so I stayed close to the shore. I make sure I don't "face" the waves. I turn my back so the waves would hit my back instead of my stomach. Paranoid, yes.

And then we got rained down. Correction, we got sandblasted!

The winds became so strong that fixed beach umbrellas looked like they would be pulled out of their posts. People started screaming because the wind started blowing sand in one direction and it hurt when the small particles hit you. Like sandblasting.

Then the heavy rain followed. We were soaked, even the towels we bought to the beach. We looked for a restaurant we can stay at until the rain passes. Good thing this restaurant-bar along Beach Road has an outdoor sitting designed for dripping wet patrons who come straight from the beach.

We had late lunch there. I had our money stashed inside my sports bra top but we had to pat them dry before we paid our bill. The tom yum soup we ordered was amazing! SC normally doesn't like tom yum but this one he liked very much.

On our walk back to the hotel, we were talking na pasaway akong patient. If we tell Dr.AZ every thing we did in Thailand, baka pagalitan nya ako. Marami akong ginawa na normally iniiwasan ng mga buntis, hahaha.

Ganito pala yung feeling ng mga nanay, lagi nilang inuuna yung safety and health ng mga anak nila. And to think, hindi ka pa lumalabas nyan a.

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

Today, I felt you "kick" for the very first time!!!

It was our second night in George Town, Penang, Malaysia (we went there for a short vacation). I was lying on the hotel bed, chatting with SC while the TV was on. Then I felt 3 strong kicks on my tummy, left side. It was the very first time I knew for sure that it's you.

I mean, I remember one time I felt some "bubbles popping" inside my stomach. I read in BabyCenter.com that fetal movement feels like that for some mothers. I wasn't sure then, I just assumed that it's you but Dr. AZ said that it might be too early for me to feel anything then (I think around #16Weeks). She said that once I feel you start moving, I'd feel it regularly. And she's right!

I screamed to SC, "Oh my God, naramdaman ko gumalaw si Peanut!" And SC, naturally, doubted it. But before I could grab his hand and put it on my tummy, you kicked again 3 times, this time just as strong as first three. That night, we spent at least 30 minutes waiting for you to move again, with both our hands resting on my stomach. But we didn't feel you kick again.

The next day, I start feeling the so-called "pregnancy butterflies" in the stomach. I read that once you know that it's the baby moving, you'd be able to distinguish it from hunger pangs because the sensation is somewhat the same.

That day, we went to Taiping and I felt the butterflies in my stomach the whole day! Every now and then, I'd feel a light kicking in my stomach. It's light, but I can feel it every single time!

So that second night, I'd take SC's hand and place it where I usually feel your kicks. After several minutes of waiting, he said he felt a light poke on his palm, but he's not so sure. I'd tell him every time I feel you move but he said it's too light for him to feel anything. Pfft.

That second night, I tried pressing my palm to my stomach using a little pressure. The first few times, I was scared that I would hurt you or press down on your nose (silly me). Natakot ako baka maging pango ka! But I checked online and experts said that you're well protected and there's no way I could hurt you with my poking and pressing unless ako mismo masaktan sa pressure na ginagamit ko.

And then magic. Every time I press down on my stomach, you would press back. Sometimes, the "kicks" are longer than others, lasting even 2 seconds! Sometimes, it's so quick or so light. But I feel you every single time.

So I started playing a game. I would press down three times and with every press, you react. It's so wonderful! And I'd smile goofily in the dark, while SC snoozes.

The following morning, I told SC about the pressing thing and your reaction. At first, he doesn't believe me so we gave him a demonstration. I pressed his hand on my stomach (left side again, you kick there a lot) and after a few seconds, he felt a strong kick. That's when he believed me (and felt you move) finally!

I've been obsessed with it since. Sometimes, I would press down on my stomach just to troll you and you'd press back, hahaha. OMG, ganito pala yun.

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).