Dear Peanut

Dear Peanut,

These past few days, we’ve been using every opportunity to walk to help “bring you down” and induce labor naturally. So, naturally, your LolaMommy and LoloDaddy would invite us to go with them to SM malls so we can “walk.”

One time, we attempted to visit the Marikina Sports Center and walk around. I dressed the part - complete with the training shoes I haven't worn in months - and still, we ended up at UP Town Center because, well, it rained that afternoon.

At home, I’ve gotten used to taking the fire exit from the 20 something-something floor all the way down to the ground floor. I’m not sure if they have CCTV cameras in the fire exits but if they do, I wonder what the guards are probably thinking whenever they see a heavily pregnant woman taking the stairs 20++ floors down once a day, hehe.

One time, I noticed a leakage in the pipes on one of the lower floors. Not really sure what it was, didn’t smell like gas, no smell at all, but all my paranoid genes went into hyper mode and told the guards what I found. They sent the engineering team to the area ASAP and later told me, “Ma’am, pressure lang po iyon, wala pong gas na nag-li-leak.” Well, good to know.

Anyway, as the title suggests, the point of this entry is to chronicle how we’ve been using you as a scapegoat these past few months.

Back in Malaysia, I don’t remember seeing courtesy lanes for the elderly and pregnant women. Maybe they have it, maybe I wasn’t just paying attention. They were no good to me anyway because I didn’t look pregnant yet.

But here in the Philippines, it is a fucking big deal that you can give a bank or a store manager the evil eye if they don’t have a priority lane for PWDs, pregnant women, and seniors. You can literally see how the store/bank staff stiffen up whenever a pregnant woman walks in. It’s the mental equivalent of rolling out the red carpet AND I FUCKING LOVE EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF IT.

In the past few months, you LolaMommy has been dragging me along to her bank runs. While she’s already a VIP (preferred client) with BPI, she’s not as powerful with BDO and other banks yet. So she brings me along and we just zip past the long lines (those poor unfortunate souls, hahahaha) of weary people and finish our business in 5 minutes or less.

The same thing happens whenever we do our groceries. I fucking love those courtesy lanes, especially in Robinson’s Galleria where I get to shoo away rowdy kids who sit on the chairs intended for pregnant ladies. Harharhar.

But I think one of the best stories was that one time we almost got a ticket because your grandparents forgot about the number coding scheme. We were in a rush to catch the early screening time of Seven Sundays at one of those SM Malls. When your LolaMommy saw the traffic enforcer, she nearly screamed because she forgot about the coding scheme (we should have brought the other car). That’s when you came to our rescue.

We opened our windows a bit and told the traffic enforcer that they’re rushing to get me to the TMC clinic in SM Marikina. Fake panic in their voice added for more drama.

Naturally, I played the part and I showed off my very pregnant self to the traffic enforcer and he waved us off. It was hilarious, really. No harm done.

P.S. Lying is wrong but, but, allow us to enjoy these preggy perks because we’re due to pop anytime now and then we’d be back to being one of those poor unfortunate souls who have no choice but to wait in line because most of the services in this country is crappy.

XOXO,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

We’ve been quite busy these past few days and yesterday was quite tiring but we managed to do a lot.

First off, your father and I had a double booking with family (Cartagena and Eustaquio-Castillo sides). One of your aunties from the Cartagena side went home from New Zealand and they met in BGC for lunch and coffee.

As for you and me, we were all over boundaries of Pasig, Mandaluyong, and San Juan yesterday.

We met our immediate family (Eustaquio-Castillo side) for a boodle fight lunch in Eastwood City. It was supposed to be a Derla-Eustaquio family meeting to explain some of the plans we agreed on for your arrival. but since we double booked, we had to discuss plans separately.

Two months ago, I told your LolaMommy that I wanted to eat seaweeds, the type you eat along with grilled liempo and pusit on the beach when you go to Palawan. I don’t know what it’s called but it’s the slimy one with popping mini balls attached to it. Doesn’t sound appetizing, yeah, but they’re good.

Your grandmothers wanted to get me 1 kilo of that and I bolted. I just wanted to eat small portions. So they ordered the boodle set with seaweeds yesterday.

I was so happy because both your UncleP and AuntieA were with us for lunch. It’s quite hard to bring us all together now for a meal because of different schedules (business and medicine school).

Your UncleP tried to listen to your heartbeat yesterday using his stethoscope. He told me they rarely use an Ultrascope Doppler stethoscope in UP-PGH (he’s currently a 4th-year med student) because of lack of funds, so hardcore. It’s a bit faint (unlike when Dr.JMF listens to your heartbeat during our weekly checkups) and he mostly heard all the barbecue, seaweeds, and laing that I ate. Nonetheless, it’s quite cool.

After a hearty lunch at Eastwood, we went to Greenhills because your LolaMommy wanted to shop. Normally, I won’t expose myself to the Greenhills Madness at this point in my pregnancy but I needed the exercise. We ate at Auntie Pairings (Tita Paring, actually, but when I took your Castillo balikbayans here, they called it Auntie Pairings, so it sort of stuck) and I was able to eat very good suman sa latik with bad coffee, haha.

After Greenhills, we went to Estancia Mall and did an ocular at this restaurant for our family Christmas dinner. As you’ll soon know, we’re not the type who stays up late for Noche Buena. As far as I can remember, we always sleep through Noche Buena and wake up early Christmas morning to unwrap presents then we wait for relatives to visit. It has always been like this.

But about 3 or 4 years ago, I’ve insisted on just having Christmas dinner (usually on the 24th) at a nice restaurant so we don’t have to slave over the kitchen stove cooking. We want to enjoy good food with good ambiance.

I’m usually the one in charge of finding fancy restaurants. This year, I’ve decided to start early. After all, when I pop, I won’t have time to project-manage the nitty-gritty details. Better prepare ahead. And it’s so damn hard to fight for reservations come December.

I took your grandparents to the restaurant yesterday at Estancia Mall and I think they liked it so much that they insisted on booking the 10-seater private dining area on the spot. So now, I’m finalizing the customized menu with the manager. Good thing I’m a VIP member so we can get some freebies.

That’s it for now. We’re also bidding for a new client so I have a lot on my plate today. Please come out soon, otherwise, your father and I will ride a roller coaster at Star City para “bumaba ka na.” Dr.JMF said mataas ka pa daw. So I need to walk and walk and walk and allow gravity to take its course.

P.S. I was able to do an ocular and a quick meeting at one of the proposed venues for your baptismal. We’re trying to lay the groundwork for these events as early as we can so we won’t “plannick.”

Love,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,
In an earlier post, I told you about winning the lack of usual pregnancy symptoms/effects. Well, karma is a bitch. Lumabas ngayon lahat starting at 35 weeks.

Lower Back Pain From Hell

The past week had been crazy. I’ve had shoulders and back pain before but the pregnancy-related lower back pain is the epitome of all that things shitty related to back pain.

Sometimes, I couldn’t get up from our bed without asking your father for help. He would laugh first, thinking that I look like an overturned turtle with my big pregnant belly trying to get up but fighting a losing battle. Then he’d help me.

Sometimes, in the morning, I would call him and he would help me get up from the bed by hugging me and pulling me upwards. It’s not sexy.

Phantom Pee in the Middle of the Night

Sometimes, I need to nudge your father awake in the middle of the night so I can get up and pee. You’re pushing my bladder and whenever you move, the sensation is like my bladder would burst.

But when I get to the bathroom, only a fucking trickle. I’m not mad at you. As you may know by now, your father and I like profanity. (P.S. You will only be allowed to curse like this out in the open when you turn 18).

Octoberfest Feet

My feet are like sausages now. And they hurt. In fact, whenever I take a bath, I can’t reach my lower body anymore that I’d ask your father to help me bathe. No, shower sex is officially off the menu (at least for the meantime). It’s not sexy at all.

I can’t reach my feet anymore. So your father needs to bathe my legs and feet for me. You know how, sometimes, when you cook Lucban longganisa and the thin casing would sizzle and burst open? That’s how it feels every time your father would wash my feet. They hurt, even at the slightest touch.

One time, he was squatting at our shower and when he got up, nataaman nya yung faucet. He got a huge gash from that incident and for weeks, he had to wear 3 to 4 Band-Aids (because we didn’t have a big one).

As of writing, he has a huge scar on his lower right back. Not sure if it will fade away in time, but if it’s still there years from now, this blog entry is a testament to your father’s dedication to cleaning my sausage-like feet when I was still carrying you.

Super Itchy !@#@($)@$*@($ Skin

When we were still in Malaysia, I often had a hard time sleeping mostly because of itchy skin. I remember a phase when I would steal whisky from your father’s stash and take 2 shots so I can sleep. For some time, alcohol helped me sleep. I was writing 2 books back then so I needed something to numb me down.

But when we found out about, alcohol was the first to go. The pregnancy-related exhaustion helped me sleep and for that, I was really, really thankful. I would be knocked out as early as 9pm. Miracles do happen. No itchy skin.

That continued when we went back to the Philippines. As soon as we have successfully set up our new home, I was able to enjoy deep sleep and long naps, despite suffering from lower back pain.

But these past few days, the itchy sensation return. I really don’t know where it’s coming from. The doctor said it’s pregnancy-related. And probably stress-related.

My stomach feels itchy. My boobs feel itchy. And it only happens at night when I’m trying to sleep. We’ve tried putting coconut oil, pregnancy-safe creams and lotions, and even talcum powder and sometimes, they help. Sometimes, they don’t.

One time, I was only able to sleep at 4 am and had to play games on my mobile phone to “let it pass.” Honestly, I have started to detest nighttime because I know I would have to go through it before I can get some sleep.

Sitting and walking for long periods of time hurt too. We are currently #38weeks and 3 days now and I can pop anytime. But that’s for another entry.

XOXO,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

Yeah, so we're down to the last stretch. Your time to go out into the world starts next week. Next. Fucking. Week. I’m not sure how it will go down but I’m looking forward that it goes well.

We have attended the final pregnancy seminar in our hospital today and got the last batch of free baby-related shit that we can get. It has been quite a journey and it’s kind of fun to think back to the last few months leading to this.

During the 1st trimester, there wasn’t a lot of changes in your mother’s body. Aside from the monthly check-ups, there wasn’t really any changes in our routine. This was the time that we would go swimming every week to get some exercise.

This is also true for the 2nd trimester since her belly is just starting to swell up, as you were starting to grow and take a more human form because initially, you looked like the face hugger hatchlings from Aliens based on the ultrasound photos. The upside is your mother’s jugs increased in cup size. The downside is that her nipples are the size of China.

Now, this third trimester is a different story. So based on what the doctor told us during the seminar and the shit we have read, this is the time that most of the things are set up. You are just growing until you are right for the picking. That means you get bigger and heavier and so is your mother’s belly. Now her movement is really compromised.

She really can’t bend down so when she drops things on the floor, especially when I’m not around, it’s going to stay there for a while. Sometimes she gets creative and uses a broom to pick up small things and ends up sweeping the entire house, so now our floors are dust-free.

Getting up from lying down position is also a Herculean task for her. She is like an overturned turtle trying to get up, it’s kind of funny. You should see it yourself. Don’t get me started about her feet. They look like they are about to be served in Octoberfest alongside with sauerkraut and beer.

Yeah, anyway, here we are just waiting for the day that your mother will go into labor. We are hoping you’d do it around Oct 30th, just in time for the long weekend. I can be off for two weeks! Woohoo!

So until then, we’ll be playing the waiting game.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

As your father already told you in a previous post, I am a major control freak and a germaphobe that I put isopropyl alcohol on everything.

That’s probably the fault of your LolaMommy, who brought us up with the same fear of germs, actually more on the fear of the effect of germs on contact. I remember she would scold us if we don’t wipe restaurant utensils with tissue or douse them with hot water first before using them. And she still does this! That’s how paranoid we are.

I’ve read several articles online about how to prepare for a newborn’s arrival. Apart from the breathing techniques, packing the hospital bag, and prenatal classes, it’s also important to prepare one’s home for the arrival of a new baby. And just like what our very cool and very practical OB, Dr.JMF, told us, it’s best to invest in cleaning services for our home. And that’s what we did last weekend.

Following the air conditioner cleaning last Saturday, the team from ThermoDry EcoSteam Sanitizing Services (TDES) did a great job sanitizing and germ-proofing our home the following day.

The scheduled time was 8 o’clock in the morning. Quite early yes. The original schedule was actually on October 15 but we wanted the house cleaned and sanitized before the 10th for peace of mind. So I asked the owner, Judy, if we can have it on October 8 instead and the only slot available is at 8 o'clock in the morning. We grabbed it.

The TDES team arrived ahead of schedule last Sunday. When I asked them what time they arrived at the condo, they said they were already at the parking lot at 7:09 am. I was surprised and deeply humbled. I mean, they could have gone straight to the lobby and ask the receptionist to call us up so they could start but they let us sleep a little longer before going up. It’s the little things that make for excellent customer service, really.

They started cleaning before 8:00 am, after explaining to us the tasks on the job order. It took them less than 4 hours to thoroughly clean, sanitize, and germ-proof a 60-sqm condo unit with balcony.

We had all the curtains and mattresses eco-steam cleaned, including your crib, portabed (portable bed), and stroller. As a first-time, expecting mother, I am even more paranoid about chemicals in cleaning products. What’s good about TDES is that they use organic, food grade cleaning solutions so it’s safe for babies, even pets. I actually asked if they can spritz some on SC’s face, hahaha.

Eco-steaming your crib.

I haven’t really tried many cleaning services because SC and I do the cleaning ourselves, but we were impressed by the top-of-line cleaning equipment they use. But the best part is that they were able to clean, sanitize, and germ-proof the hard-to-reach places such as that part with the door hinges (the dust gets trapped and the dried dust gets musty sometimes) and the corner grout in the bathroom, all of which I can’t reach anymore because of my big belly. They inform you every time they use a new cleaning solution and a new equipment. They also offered a lot of tips for better cleaning.

Refreshing our bed for your arrival. <3

Sanitizing and getting our home in order is no easy task. We’ve been at it for a month now. In the past few years, SC and I have become some sort of semi-minimalist. We don’t like to hoard things. Heck, we don’t even have TV at home because we both think it kills productivity.

We don’t even have too much food in our fridge (that's why your grandparents also worry if we're eating homecooked meals at all, hahaha), just enough food for the week (and also because the grandparents give us a lot of free food). We also have this first-in, first-out protocol. Unlike your LolaMommy's fridge in our Pasig Home, you can see everything in our small fridge because we try to finish what we have before buying new stock. I don't know if that's minimalist living but that's one of the best practices we've adopted when we got married.

And I’ve always been a control freak but, and I don’t know how and when it started, SC is even more of a control freak now. He’s in charge of the floors and he would get all stressed out if the floors are not clean before we call it a day. PRAISE THE LORD! Finally! Hindi sya nagsimula na ganyan!

A clean, nice-smelling home is always a treat after a long day. Getting the TDES team to work on our new home is one of the best investments we’ve made so far in preparation for your arrival.

Anytime now, Peanut. We are ready for you. <3

P.S. So it really takes a village to raise (and prepare for the arrival of) a child.

Love,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear, Peanut

It’s been a while, eh? Yeah, we have been busy for the past month or so about a lot of things. Remember the one I told you about the seminars about pregnancy and shit? So we finished 2 already and we have 2 more to go.

I have never seen so many pregnant women in one place that if you scream “Free Chocolate Cake!” there would be a fucking stampede. We learned a lot of things but the 2 most important have yet to be done—Parenting 101 and Preparation for Child Birth. Speaking of childbirth, our OB told us that your mother can give birth any time between October 10 and 31.

So, I looked at the calendar, holy shit! It’s less than a month! I can feel the panic monster behind me, breathing down my neck. But I know that panicking would not contribute anything. I calmly grab that motherfucker by the neck and beat it into submission. I think at the same time I have hatched Operation Nutcracker in my mind.

Okay, Operation Nutcracker is the preparation plan for your arrival. Now, we have already scheduled professional cleaning for our house. As you know, your mother is a major germaphobe that she puts alcohol on everything. You’ll soon know what I’m talking about. I’m also working on getting things set up and prepared in the house because I know I won’t have time to do that when you’re here.

We have bought and were gifted with stuff that you may need. Maybe we’ll need to buy some more as we go along. Your mother told me that we should practice hospital runs to simulate going to the hospital when she’s in labor. I think that’s too much but I pondered on getting an ambulance to fetch us when its time. Yeah, that would be cool because I haven’t ridden an ambulance before (thank God). But Uber/ Grab is fine too, hehe.

We are also in discussion about getting an additional person to help us out in the next few months. Yeah, because you know, having a baby is so much work (as they say) and I think firsthand I’ll know if it indeed takes a goddamned village to raise a child.

Still many tasks to do but slowly well get there. Plans look good on paper. Hopefully, the execution won’t have too many road bumps but if there are, I’m pretty sure we can bulldoze right through it because we don’t stop for anything or anyone for your arrival.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

This morning, I saw the first signs of stretchmarks on my lower belly.

I’m not overly conscious about stretchmarks because I already have some. I used to be a “big” kid. So when I lost the weight in high school, my skin showed the signs. But this morning, after a quick shower, I saw the first batch of pregnancy stretchmarks on both sides of my lower belly.

I felt three things.

First, a bit of sadness, but it was the good kind of sadness, because it means my body has officially passed the pre-pregnancy state. I mean, yeah, sure, since the point of conception and when you first started to “show,” we’ve already passed the pre-pregnancy body state but aside from my growing belly, I didn’t have those claw-like, reddish stretchmarks yet.

Second, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy because those pregnancy stretchmarks mean you’re growing nicely in there. Your kicks and punches have also started growing stronger that one time when SC placed his right cheek on my belly and you either sucker-punched or gave his face a fancy flying kick because he felt it, haha.

Third, I felt a great deal of pride because oh wow, my body is able to do all these things! It is just surreal, you know?

Some of my mommy friends tell me that those pregnancy stretchmarks will fade away after a few months, some years. But really, I’m not overly conscious or bothered about it.

I mean, it’s not like my entire career is anchored on my physical looks. I’m not a model or an actress. And even if there are some treatments you can get for those stretchmarks, I don’t think they’re super necessities at this point. I’d rather use the money to hike up some of our investments.

Anyway, that’s it for now.

I just finished breakfast and I need to work now because we have a lot of backlog for work due to the long weekend.

Oh, by the way, SC called while I was checking out my lower belly and I told him about it. I did some voodoo with the coconut oil we imported from Malaysia after the shower. I’ve read it can help to keep the skin moisturized, at least that’s what we can do to ease the itchiness a bit.

And besides, queens have battle scars. :)

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).

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Dear Peanut,

Do you remember Pesky, the fly that always hangs around the house? Yeah, I know he’s dead but there’s another fly that also started hanging around our house. He’s also a bit clingy and always hangs out wherever we are but not as annoying as Pesky.

Initially, I thought Pesky came back from the dead but looking at this new fly, it’s a bit smaller and less clingy. Thus, we have named him Pesky Jr. (PJR).

I also noticed there’s another fly that is hanging around the house. This one is like, fat, so I know it’s not Pesky Jr. But for reference, let’s call him Fatso. I think he’s PJR’s friend whom he invited to the house to hang out. They are alike the fly version of Bulk and Skull from the Power Rangers TV show.

I think Pesky Jr. is a teenager, you know why? Because we rarely see him around the house. It seems that he just comes home when he is tired, hungry, and out of money. Hey, it reminds me of myself.

I remember my teenage years and all the time that we have on our hands. I’m usually outside the house, going to my friend’s house, hanging out, playing video games, talking, and getting piss drunk. I have a friend whose house has a sari-sari store with all the booze and snacks that we can have. Therefore, his house became our headquarters, hehe. Though it had been ages since we went back there, I think our tab would already be a mile long or maybe we were banned because we did not pay the bill most of the time.

I’d also go out with my band friends and attend their gigs, go to their friends, meet new people, explore new places, and just having a blast. These days, I don’t really get to go out much often. Well, I go out for work mainly and chores, but that’s about it. I’m also a bit lazy to go out now because I’m usually tired from the daily grind.

But you know what, that’s fine. I guess that’s what growing old is about. I guess you’ll also know what I’m talking about in due time. For now, you just hang out in your mother’s belly.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

Okay, so we have been staying in our condo for quite some time. Yeah, it’s nice, 3 pools, basketball court, and resort-like vibe. We live on the high-rise floor and our unit has a balcony where you can see the cityscape.

Amidst the all the great stuff that we have in our living quarters, we have had a bit of a problem. You see, there was this one annoying house fly that kept hanging around the house. I think it was about a week or two and it seemed that he never leaves as if he was paying rent. We have tried to get rid of him but after unsuccessful attempts, we have decided that we will take him in. We have named him Pesky The Fly.

Pesky flies around us most of the time and lands on our arms, legs, or whatever body part. We swat him away then he leaves only to come back and annoy us some more. One time, he landed on my face and I slapped myself trying to get rid of him. Your mother laughed and she said that it also happened to her. Stupid fly.

One evening, when we were about to sleep, I saw Pesky lounging around the bedroom. I got my trusty slipper and swatted him with lightning fast speed. Finally, Pesky fell. I saw his lifeless body at the back of the nightstand and decided to leave it there. I thought your mother would be glad that Pesky is gone but for some reason, she wasn’t very happy about me leaving Pesky’s body to decompose inside the house.

It’s actually not a bit deal but knowing your mother, she makes a big deal about small things, like a house fly. Then she went on ranting about cleanliness and other unrelated stuff that her woman brain tells her to say. I can’t believe it she is seriously upset about a fucking house fly.

Then it dawned me, Pesky, with his dying breath has cursed me, made my wife upset just to troll me one last time. Damn you, Pesky, well played.

Wherever you are, I hope you have all the trash that you can eat, shit and hangout with all your house fly friends. I hope when you look down from fly heaven, you can see me from my balcony raising my middle finger to you. I’ll never forget you, Pesky, mostly because you owe me 3 weeks of rent, you freeloading shit bag.

Regards,

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Dear Peanut,

So tonight, I was supposed to edit a manuscript for one of my #YAI2017 students. But your AuntieMarley sent me a message on Facebook and asked something about a project we worked on before.

And then boom, we started talking about baby stuff, like breastfeeding and breast pumps and seminars and all things I haven’t really studied yet.

I mean, I know I’m supposed to research on these things soon, and we, umm, sort of umm scheduled it later this month because, err, we keep delaying it because, um, it is just so overwhelming!!

I mean, it’s like algebra to me.

I know next to nothing about how these things work and SC is being a pain in the ass trolling me that he’ll do the breast pumping himself and shit and that I don’t need all these fancy-ass breast pump machines and I just end up getting all riled up and we’ll end up fighting because it is just too much-----we both don’t know anything about being new parents!!!

When you finally pop out, it will be like our baptism of fire. Nothing can really prepare you for the birth of your child, they say. Not even our own parents and now I’m worried because some of the things our parents (your grandparents) know about childcare are outdated already.

Like how am I supposed to know that there’s a proper way of latching onto a nipple?? I read about it in the baby book we bought in Manila but WTF, how do I do that in real life? It’s not like I can practice with SC!

And when I try to explain all the things I read and learn to SC he’ll just say, it’s natural babe, you don’t need this and that…argh!!!

Like just a few minutes ago, we were arguing about the Medela breast pump machine, he said, “Babies know that already. Kahit ako lumapit sa breast mo, magla-latch ako.”

So I screamed at him to stop trolling me and I felt you kick and punch and make a fuss inside my tummy. So instead of editing, I just logged onto YouTube and decided to play some classical music so we can bond.

Anyway, there’s a Mommy / Baby Clearance Sale this weekend in Ortigas so we’ll go there on Sunday. Tomorrow, we watch Indie Films first. And we told ourselves that starting this August, we’ll dedicate Saturdays attending new parents seminars and all those events we had no interest before.

This new parents thing is just so overwhelming, anak. I hope you understand that we are doing everything we can.

And oh, we have an ocular tomorrow for your badass sausage party-themed baby shower. We need to calm our tits because we are slowly transitioning into a stag/bachelorette party instead of the usual baby shower.

xoxo,

Update (as of March 29, 2018): Changed my codename from Queen Bitch (QB) to Tiger Mom (TM).